Undone

More scandal and drama they chant.

Alright. I went to work last night (gasp horror) I know everyone at work’s POV on marriage, because we talk about everything together. I thought, in my pre-telling rundown, that Artemis would wig uberly, The Mouth would shrug it off, and that would be that. (I knew I was working with these people, so ya know, I only had expectations for them)

It was a complete fiasco. I told the Mouth first. Hoping that it’d go over well. His eyes got all big and round in his head and he got loud. “You’re what?” and what not, and how long have you even known him, blah blah blah. That’s when Artemis wanted to know what was going on. I had planned not to tell her until later in the night…. so much for that. She didn’t care, shockingly, and simply said to me “No one is gonna know if it’s right but you.” Which i figure is as close to a “Congratulations” from her I’m gonna get. At this point the Mouth is text messaging Guts, who doesn’t believe it. Of course he calls later to talk to Artemis and i tell him then… in the funniest way possible.

Me: “Hey Guts, wanna talk to Artemis?”

“No. Did we traumatize your boyfriend last night?”

I hesitate. “Actually he isn’t my boyfriend anymore.”

“What? Do i need to bust some kneecaps?”

Me: “He’s my fiance.”

“OMG! Really? I think i’m gonna cry!”

*nods* He probably would have busted Scott’s kneecaps If I’d just told him to… *blinks* but I certainly don’t want that. That would make me really upset… Now, he could bust The Mouth’s kneecaps… Okay okay, i’m just kidding.

I also told some of them that I wouldn’t be staying around much longer. Now I admit, I love working at the GS. Its’ great. I love it. But it pays for nothing. not even a video game, brand new, with each pay period. That’s how crappy my pay is. So after finals I’m getting a new job (That’s roughly eight weeks from now.) and Hopefully I can save up to buy things. (Ring, Shoes, Cake… etc)

after the fiasco at work (i’m leaving some of the uneventful tellings out. They’re interesting, but not drama) I came home and got into my pj’s at record speed, and ran downstairs to my computer. 🙂 All night I was pretty much staring at the clock, saying “I just want to go home.” It was stuck in a pretty negative environment last night. Made me really wish that Scott was closer, so I could get hugs and glomps from him 😉 (Glomp: To tackle from the back in an embrace. Usually performed by girls. Looks like cross between a hug and a piggy back ride.) I really miss him, and i’m grateful that I get to see him tonight… I’m sorta scared to tell everyone else, so maybe I’ll tell them right before I leave. I guess it’s because i dont’ deal well with confrontation and despite being in debate when very loud voices are involved i usually forget my arguments.

I just don’t want to hear them demean what I know to be right. (Why I don’t talk about the gospel at work) It doesn’t matter if they don’t believe that I can know that I love Scott already. Because I do. More than anything. It doesn’t matter if they disapprove, because they were only invited to the reception anyway. (Nah nah nah nah nah!) I love Scott, and he loves me, and that’s all that really matters. That we know that this is right. That God says it’s right. That’s all that matters to me.

Derringer Meryl [To heck with the disapprovers] Out

Since Scott’s been screaming about it, I should at least blog about it. 🙂 My Claddaugh ring has been flipped (for you Buffy Fans who know what that means) and Scott and I are getting married. 🙂

I was really nervous yesterday (as you can read in my blog about it.) I was also really busy. I wanted to go to the temple and hang out while he was at the other temple thinking and praying about it. I couldn’t because of my classes, and I was stuck on campus while he was in the temple. I went as close as I could to get the spirit though, I went to the institute building. (I had also forgotten to read my scriptures yesterday, so i hit two birds with one stone!) While I was hanging out, I was thinking about things I had learned in my Stress Management class, where we had just so happened to be talking about the power of prayer (I love College, so much better than high School. We can talk about religion!) and how people who were prayed for, and didn’t know it, got healthier faster after surgery.

I’m digressing, yet again.

My teacher said something profound. “Fear is the opposite of faith. If you’re afraid of something you have no faith in it. You can’t live in both places.” So i sat down with my BoM and I was reading and just trying to not plead with God that Scott would get the same answer as me. I finally figured it out though. I had to put my faith in God’s will. Whether it was to be Scott or not, everything would work out okay, just as long as I had faith. it was pretty much all that was in my brain yesterday after I figured that out. 🙂

I also got smacked about the head for continually asking. Apparently God doesn’t like to be asked the same question several times in a row when he’s already given you an answer. *shifty eyes* though I think i already knew that.

Also, in a slightly related topic I just began to cry last night, I was so happy. And I was just… so …excited. I don’t like to cry in front of people, so I basically waited until I was in my room alone and cried. (That has ties back to my childhood. My sibs made fun of me for crying at the drop of a hat. Now I can hold it in until they can’t see me. heh) I just feel so … fortunate. My mom and dad were getting restless with my choice in boys to date. I was getting restless at the flakes I had chosen. No one seemed to understand that I wanted to Marry an LDS boy but I didn’t want that to be the only thing we had in common. (the oh so common pick up line: “I’m LDS, and you’re LDS, and we’re both single…” is the LDS equivalent of “Hey Baby…. How you doin’?”) That drove me crazy. Until now, i could never find anyone who enjoyed the same things I did. I don’t know. Liked video games too much, liked them too little, and so on. I think though, with Scott and I it goes beyond all that. Some of the similar things between us are uncanny. Even between our parents.

My mom keeps reminding me of this, it’s a bit of a quirky story. She always says that I remind her of her mom. So, when her mom met her dad at a dance in Oak something valley (We can’t recall the details exactly of where it was) saw him from across the room. She asked her friends about him, and almost immediately after learning his name said: “I’m gonna marry him.” and so she did. 🙂 The uncanny thing is I was looking at Scott’s profile on LDSsingles (after he had sent me a flirt) and I just read it, and turned to my mom and said: “I’m gonna marry him.” and so i shall. 😉

Derringer Meryl [Uncanny Happy Events] Out