Undone

That my transfers have slowed… A LOT.
That’s because it was about this period of time I changed from Single Entry to Weblog style. So it’s FRUSTRATING to get them moved over. Hopefully I can find some way to speed up the process… then the grand unveiling can begin!

Sometimes I romantisize about my teen years. i think most everyone does from time to time. I think though the most that i miss is all the opportunities I had. The freedom… was unbelievable.

However… after reading through all my old entries (or at least a years worth) and my horrible puppy dog-ness over several different grown men… It’s nauseating. I won’t edit really… Because honestly it is what it is. I was very honest and real with the things i wrote. I was uninhibited. I miss that the most. Do you know what I find to be more than slightly hillarious though? I’m reading through where one of my ex’s asked me to move in with him ( and NO, not in a romantic sense) and it still feels weird to think about. Even after all these years, and even after marrying and moving in with Scott– the idea of moving in with someone of the opposite sex– is WEIRD. LOL.

anyway. I better get back to transferring over. One year down, six to go!

Scott was frustrated by the interface on diaryland, so he surprised me by setting up this! animegrrl.com. HUZZAH!

I will slowly (and painfully) migrate over the old 1000+ entries to here, from diaryland. Good bye diaryland, you were once good to me… you sick sick jerks. Why did you have to make it so hard!! But I appreciate your difficulty and making me learn the fine art of self flagellation.  Thank you thank you thank you.

Scott informs me that in order to transfer all my posts out via script it requires a Gold membership. AHAHA. They want you to pay to leave them in a quick and orderly fashion. JERKS.

Seriously though. Diaryland was good to me for a few years. I appreciate their down server time, and their free service, and letting me get out all my teenage angst and drama all over their precious precious server space. I <3 Diaryland, those abusive abusive friends of mine.

So this is my new “pad” awesome.

Derringer Meryl [love, actually] out

Today, My Dog died. It sucks. She was pretty sick. I won’t go into the details, simply because… well, it’s really really gross. We got our dogs when I was… *thinks* Around nine I guess? I don’t know. She was in a lot of pain though… so I’m okay with it.

I’ve been really sick the past few days. Saturday until today… I”m still not feeling too great. My ear feels all clogged. my head hurts really bad. My throat is sore, my nose is running like all get out.

I want to sleep, really bad. I woke up at six am this morning. Haven’t gotten more than a half hour at a time since. *sighs* I want to sleep. I want nyquil. I want to drug myself into a sweet slumber.

Alas, there is no more nyquil, or dayquil for that matter. I considered calling mom to bring me some, but I figured that I was married now, and i should just deal with the fact that I have no money right now. *sighs*

My car isnt’ finished. Scott’s dad checked wiht the STUPID mechanic, and he hasn’t even started working on it yet. STUPID guy. I hate him so bad. It’s been over a week, and he hasn’t done jack.

What a jerk.

Derringer Meryl [In Lots of Pain] Out

I think… I think no one really understands what it’s like to be a newly wed until you experience it.

Call me a cocky Teenager, but I thought things would work out better than this for Scott and I.

It’s hard. Being a newlywed is hard. Leaving my old job, is hard. Katy asked today why I was leaving– and I told her, that it was just time for me to go. (Instead of my natural reaction to tell her that she was screwing me over) It is. It’s time to put childish things away. Scott and I are trying to deal with these things as much as we can.

The people haven’t called back about our financing for the car yet. I start my new job in about a week. We have bills, and the threat of Bankruptcy looming over our heads. It feels like this basement sucks us back in every time we try to leave. In the darkness here– I find comfort knowing that God lives, and that I’m going to learn something from this annoyance. I turn my music on, and I listen, hoping to hear something that’s going to inspire me.

Something that’s going to keep me going. Keep me from being even more exhausted than I am at this moment. Someday, the laundry will be done. Someday, The bed will be made. someday, we won’t live here anymore. Someday, i’ll feel better.

Someday, we’ll look at this and laugh.

Someday, things will be okay.

Derringer Meryl [Right?] Out