Undone

Have you ever been unable to focus? Of course, because you, like everyone else, are normal. Heh. I can’t focus on my legal secretary text for the life of me. *sighs* Busy thinking about other things. Thinking about how i’d like to be reading another blue book which is sitting on my couch.

This blue book i’m reading now, not so much interesting. I don’t even want to be a legal secretary anymore. I’ve never read anything so dull and horrid in my entire life. and i don’t think i’ve ever not comprehended something I’ve read as much as I have the books this year at school.

Do you like this new layout? I know the green is a little… hm… gacky? So sorry about that. But I really liked the pictures together, and green brought them together the best. This shade. Unfortunately. 🙂 But I like the saying. i like what it means. I like how happy I am. I like living like Sakura does. She’s a constant blush machine, and I have to admit, i’ve been living there too.

I know my previous post was pretty down on Meryl (can I say I love that name?) I guess i let my depression control me a little too much, and certainly let other people use it to their advantage. I won’t name anyone, but it’s people in my past. I need to understand that what they said doesn’t matter, and now… now i have someone who thinks i’m fantastic the way I am. *smiles* Everyone says they’ve never seen me happier. Guts says if Scott hurts me, that he’ll maim him. Of course, Guts never maimed Monkey for me, so I guess I’ll take that with a grain of salt. 🙂

Care Bear came up from provo to pick her sister up from the Airport, so she stopped in. it was fun. I felt really giddy. We all got into her friend’s car and sang really loud to “Hey Ya” By Outkast. It was fun. it’s like everything in life is better, just … great. Everything is fantastic.

I look at my bedroom (which mind you, I’ve almost got about perfect for my desires) and I think. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want the “i have a crush on that actor” posters on my wall, and I don’t want the cut outs of pretty girls I wish I was on my walls. I dont’ want to be them anymore either. If I needed to. I could give this all up.

And I could. I just could. Doesn’t really matter.

Derringer Meryl [Must concintrate on Book] Out