Undone

If you just joined us, as in you didn’t read my three entries for saturday– I suggest you do so– 🙂 Just for the sake of how funny I think I am, and the entries are. Heh. Anyway. Tonight, D&D.

I didn’t do much. Scott’s friends (as they so are called because I can’t say I know them well enough to create them aliases) picked me up because he had to work really late at work. (really late reads: Nine or so) and they had a hard time finding my house. Shock of a lifetime. Not really. I should make my own instructions on how to get here. If I had been thinking, I would have. Shame on me. Oh well, at least I have the fact that I’m worrying about Essays and Chapters to be read and make up homework, that’s what i’m working on. It would have been nice to get them some better instructions, but alas, there is no use sighing over the past.

I was still pretty quiet this time. IMO anyway, I still blended some, but I have to say, i’m still feeling like a bit of an outsider. Scott and I showed them some Legendary Frog Stuff, and Eight Bit Theater D&D which they seemed to enjoy. 🙂 That was nice. I didn’t eat again. I think I have some sort of phobia about eating in front of a large group of people. I don’t know. I think it shows how comfortable I was with Scott on our first date, because I did eat on our date. *nods* I think it’s because when I’m nervous, I feel queasy (my stomach is my ‘weak link’) and so when i feel queasy, I don’t want to eat. In the long and short of it– It must just be some sort of neuroses.

I have to admit, with no offense to Scott’s Friends who drove me down, (i really appreciate it!) I enjoyed the ride back up, simply because while there was music, we could still talk to one another. I think I’ve fallen into this happy place where I like to talk (as well as listen) and it’s the place where I used to be. Before I entered the uncertainty of adolescence I was a real social butterfly. I loved to talk to people, and i knew everyone’s names. I still considered myself shy, but I really wasn’t. I wasn’t the bravest little toaster, but I was something between shy and outgoing. I moved out of state, and then back in, and adolescence hit and every conversation I tended to join had the razor sharp reply of “Who Invited You to this conversation?”

Anyway, I digress.

I’m really enjoying conversing. I get in the mood to talk, and strangely the mood to listen follows it. I’m just… so excited. I love hearing Scott’s stories about his mission and his crazy antics with his best friend. I love learning about him.

He asked me to go to his Singles Ward with him. And I really Really REALLY wanted to. So I said sure, and then I remembered that last week I had accepted the calling to help in the Primary. *sighs* So not this week. I thought about asking him to come to my ward, but he also has things to do down there. He takes a co-worker (I think, right?) to his Singles Ward with him. I figure it’s a good thing, and I really don’t want to deprive the guy of his very handsome Church going partner. It’d be selfish of me. So instead I get to go and handle the Sunbeams, and probably eat my words about being patient with kids.

Cause I’m more of the …. Relief Society Teacher type. I’m not very verbose, I’m sure the kids can understand me, but I’m not sure I can handle not having attention paid to me when I speak… *yawns* though I seemed to handle it well enough when none of the Relief Society Ladies seemed to acknowledge that I was speaking. They weren’t so good about making eye contact.

I’m still really nervous about tomorrow. For various reasons. A few things looming over my head. And the incessant fear of how i look when I eat. Maybe Spaghetti wasn’t the best choice for dinner. heh. I’m a noodle slurper. Comes from two years of Ramen Consumption.

Anyway. I need to sleep. Though I’d like to mention that my mom was in the room when we said goodnight. So sadly, I lacked a kiss. 🙁 I understand and all. Mom told me she wished that she had waited for me in the basement– I agreed. *blushes wildly* >_< Alright I better go to sleep before my eyes fall out of my head. Goodnight all you beautiful peoples you 😉

Derringer Meryl [When you smile I melt inside] Out