Undone

For some reason, being a girl comes with a whole shit load of power. I’m not talking the power to create life, though that is pretty powerful, I mean Hello, hand of God…. I mean the power to manipulate.

I’m fairly sure every girl has it, though some may not use it as much as others. And the unfortunate thing is there is no manual. I’ve been the rudest, skaniest, lowest, filthiest excuse of a girl in terms of manipulation for the past few … um… weeks, and I have no idea how to stop. Heck, I only know that my own anger triggered it.

Damn. *frowns*

Anyway, i’m trying to stop, being manipulative that is, because, it’s low. And I hate being low. I hate the idea. I have all of my friends turning against one of my other friends, and i’m a horrid person for it.

I dare not mention names, even silly code ones.

i’m disgusting. and i’m not trying to manipulate for the pity either. (See, it never ever turns off. EVER!) It’s next to impossible to be genuine, because i always feel like i’m being false, cause i don’t feel a whole lot of emotion in the first place. I mean, I feel stuff, but it doesn’t tend to effect me a lot.

OI.

Anyway, I hope the person who i’ve been horrible to, if he even reads in here any more, which i doubt he does, i hope he knows i’m genuine in my sorriness. Err, In how sorry I feel. Whichever.

Derringer Meryl [Off, turn it off!!] Out