Undone

Got a great compliment. One that makes me think… THings. I got it from Gert, who is a prince among toads of guys. Sure sometimes he’s a little whacky and what not, but …

he sure knows what to say to a sad girl. Maybe it’s practice. seen a lot of sad girls in his day, but i was complaining about Monkey, because it fills up the dead space between ligitamate conversastions…. and he says to me, Gert says:

“Monkey just doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it. He will someday, but it’ll probably be too late.”

*blushie blush*

I’m not a big fan of the “I like fifty guys at once” Thing, because I find seriously being attracted to more than one guy usually leads to unfaithfulness. (I mean not just “Oh He’s cute. I mean, like the “DAMN, i want to sleep with him” idea.) But i’m stuck. I’m finding myself falling into a camp of i really like one guy, but another guy I like is … more… i wouldn’t say ready, but… willing, i guess. So Now I’m supposing which one to choose. The guy who seems interested, or the guy who just wants me as a friend. What the hell kind of choice is that?!?! Not much of one. Logic demands that i move on– but part of me clings to a last thread of hope, that I should probably toss into the gutter with the rest of my dreams … *shrugs*

Contemplation… Anyway tonight’s lyric spew is from Sense Field, I Refuse It’s an excellent song. I love it to pieces, and i’ve been looking for it for a while. Thank God for In Station Recordings.

Don’t say that you know me

You never knew the first thing at all

Still you should have told me

Took everything and selling it off

These holes in your stories

As many as theres holes in the wall

You told me that you like the old me

Cause the new me is telling you:

I refuse to fit into this lame idea you’ve always had for me

I don’t want to be what you want me to be

You complain because i’m not the same

I won’t be missing the place that I came

I know that its risky but all bets are off

This is my life so whatever the cost

If i’m lost would you hold it against me?

Make me pay for every step of the way?

I know that you’ve already told me

You don’t like the new me at all

You told me that you missed the old me

When I couldn’t be happy

And I refuse to fit into this lame idea you’ve always had for me

I’m not gonna be what you want me to be

And I refuse, i’m not gonna be what you want to be

I know that you’ve already told me

You don’t like the new me at all

You told me that you used to know me

You really never knew me at all

But all the change is a good thing

I’ll see for myself

The change is a good thing

Spelling it out

Change is a good thing

Can see for myself

Change is a good thing

Don’t say that you know me

You never knew the first thing at all

Still you should have told me

Took everything and selling it off

I refuse to fit into this lame idea

I refuse

I refuse to fit into this lame idea you’ve always had for me

I’m not gonna be what you want me to be

Derringer Meryl [I f*ckin’ Hate Me] Out