Undone

So, after staying up till three in the morning, and thinking, and talking, and everything else. I’ve discovered a few new things about myself.

I can’t tell you why I care what my parents think about my decisions in life. I don’t know, so don’t ask, i have no answers for you. However, I know if I felt deeply enough about something, they couldn’t stand in my way. That when you look at the simplest facts, the thing is– it’s your choice. My choice. How to live, what to believe. Occasionally you should question what you believe, so you can toss wrong things aside, as well as strengthen your beliefs in things.

it’s all a matter of worth. Marrying who I love is worth having my parents stop talking to me, I could deal with that. However, I could not abide being cast out of God’s view for love. I know that God Loves me enough that he would not make me choose between two things I love very much…. and any man I love, I hope, would have the same idea.

And also… i’ve discovered that life– while turning from good to shibby and back again constantly– is an overall good thing.

Everyone should have one friend who is simply a listener. I’ve found, they know more than others. Because when you listen, you absorb knowledge from the people you encounter. (Honestly I used to be more of a listener, but I got trashed by people too often to keep the practice too well.) But — they tend to be the kindest, most patient, understanding, and calm people you’ll meet. And by being around people like that, you become more like that yourself. We all need that in our lives. The calm. The silence. Where the thoughts you have in your head, all seem to stop.

Some people go to a spa and pay lotsa moolah….

I like to go to Monkey’s house and blow some stuff up. I may pay for some gas along the way, but overall– i’d place my money on the monkey.

Because even when I end up with my foot in my mouth, he’s calm. He understands. And even (on the rare occasion) I screw up enough to make him angry, it’s there, and then gone…. as far as I can tell. and I’m greatful. Heaven knows my big mouth and insecure mind have scared enough people away, i’m sorta shocked he’s not running …. I would be.

Derringer Meryl [billy idol’s nails] out