Undone

Confused, Confuzzled, and all around– dying inside.

I’m not sure if I’m upset for the right reasons. Afriend of mine got demoted at work, and …. i’m not upset because he got demoted so much as i am upset that I’m not getting his job.

It’s hard to explain.

He was weak, and …. i’m not even sure. He was making all these bad decisions, and …. it just seemed so fast…

and then he’s getting replaced. By some girl. The thought makes me angry because I don’t like girls, and i don’t like the idea that i’m getting passed over when i have two years of experience.

and i’m going to hear them out, going to see what they say, and If I don’t like it, i’m giving my two weeks. I hate to leave. It’s two years of my life, two years of precious memories, and I know they’ll fade…. but– God why does everything have to change at once. I need to move up, I have to go up, or I’ll never reach my goal. I’ll never work at Game Informer, and i”ll never own my own magazine……..

and I don’t know why everything is moving so fast now. I don’t know where I fit into it all.

but i’ll listen, and i’ll figure it out, and if i fit in on the outside, then it’s too damn bad, i’m gone. *sighs*

Derringer Meryl [fast movement] out