Undone

Finally, twenty minutes later and I can’t even remember what I”m going to write about.

Eh. Let’s start at the beginning.

1-

Wiccas. Damnit I said wiccas. I went to read an EX friend of mine’s journal for the very first time (and last) and she’s all upset because I was ill when she was here. GOD, what?! Was I supposed to get together with all the germs in the fetching city and say “Oh By the way, Sally’s coming into town, I’d appreciate not getting sick!” And beyond that, no one knew what it was. They took like fifty ounces of blood and STILL didn’t know what it was. All I wanted was some peace and FRIGGIN’ quiet. Cheeze.

Not to mention I was angry at her ANYWAY for breaking EVERY rule my parents had in place. I mean gettin’ high, giving some jerk a blow job, and getting drunk. Great, I know how about you start to whore yourself out? And then she expects me to be all caring and shit when her life goes down the drain. I told her, I TOLD HER that those choices would end her up in bad places.

WHY DIDN’T SHE LISTEN TO ME???

I don’t know, but now she’s a wicca. I’m not scared of her, for the basic reason of if she even did have something of mine to torture me with, I have no emotional connection to her, and the person whom she may or may not be attempting majiks on no longer exists. I’m not the door mat who says it’ll be okay. I didn’t want to abandon her, but I simply couldn’t carry her dead weight any longer.

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there were seen,

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”

Those prints are large and round and neat,

“But Lord, they are too big for feet.”

“My child,” He said in somber tones,

“For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait.”

“You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know,

So I got tired, I got fed up,

And there I dropped you on your butt.”

“Because in life, there comes a time,

When one must fight, and one must climb,

When one must rise and take a stand,

Or leave their butt prints in the sand.”

~Author Unknown~

God, she was like the poster child for this poem. I couldn’t stand to drag her any further, it’s like when you’re in the water, you can help someone for so long, but after a while their dead weight starts to make you sink. Honestly I couldn’t let myself go down with her. I saw the road she was walking, and I realized I was too late. She didn’t want help, she wanted approval, and I wasn’t about to give it to her. I don’t care what she says about me being a crappy friend, because– Because I tried. I tried to get her to feel better. But the truth was, she didn’t want to get better, she wanted a fix, something quick.

So screw you Sally. I hope you find some false peace in your “blessed be” dark arts. Because Though I walk through the valley of death each day– I fear NOT evil.

Derringer Meryl [Majick? Pshaw] Out