Undone

Right. Have you ever got the feeling everyone is staring at you going “OH My gosh, what a freak!”

I do. constantly. Though I have to wonder if it’s the voices I hear in my head that are saying it.

In any case– I’m a diva. I think i’m beginning to accept it. I want to be the star, twenty four seven. Well, not exactly– I want to be everyone’s favorite pet, and the girl they all say “Damn I want to be like her.” (Their words, not mine!) I want to be the center of attention.

But then I come to the realization that being the center of attention could cost a lot of …. well…. ego, pride, all that fun stuff.

Is it really worth it to have everyone in the world paying attention to you while muttering to their neighbor “That Poor girl, We should pray for her.” Honestly I thank you, you imagninary people you, for your prayers, but my obsession with you paying attention to me, does not need your little prayers.

Heh.

Okay. Now i’m talking to the voices that talk to the voices. I need much medication. *sighs* That’s not the point though. I want to be better– I want to be the super star.

I like being princess and queen and apple of the public’s eye. I just want it without the heavy pricetag the world has put on it. I don’t’ want to give up my privacy, or what little of sanity I have, or my sexuality– Or any of it. I want to be me, and I want it to be enough for the adoring masses to …. well…. adore me.

I have to go– My agent is calling 😉

Derringer Meryl [Superstar] Out