Undone

Increasingly worse through the week.

With all that happened on sunday, you think my week could not get any worse. My friend who is/was living with me got the news she has to leave, and is all sobby and what not.

*Raises her hand* I wanted her back here, but I’m a little tired.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to support someone else’s depression needs when my own are increasingly making me weak.

She asks “I’m a burden” and I say no, because she isn’t. My actions and thoughts are the burden.

My relationships

The School

The homework

Everyone’s need to lean on me–

Those are my burdens. (A whole bunch lumped into larger phrases)

I’m so very tired. Tired of being the one to pull the weight. If I’m this tired now, how tired am I going to be when I’m my mom’s age.

I don’t think it’s humanly possible to be more tired than I am

I hope it isn’t, because I feel like if I get any more stressed, I could collapse. I want a day off, all by myself. Me. No friends, no work, no debate, nothing. I just want to be me while I’m writing, and just be free–

I want to be alone for a little while. To be free, to — I don’t know how to say it, It’s so hard to explain–

I need to find a little solace. A little place where I can escape to when life gets to be too much.

Derringer Meryl [I’m so very lost] Out