Undone

Every time something goes wrong, it’s my fault.

I have to say some people can bear that burden, and bear it well, I however, cannot. It is one of my many many pet peeves that I have not yet learned to control.

I don’t understand how a situation between two or more people can be one person’s ‘fault’. I can’t. It’s beyond me. I can’t believe how hard things are…. and….

I’m a little tired, and a little frustrated, and honestly…. I’d like to go to a cave somewhere and act like the rest of the world wasn’t going on. I’d have an eternity of cartoons (taped without commercials) and I’d just watch them…. forever.

But no, I have to live in the real world, with all of the ups and downs and the rights and lefts, but I superly hate the loop-d-loops. I just want a steady life, or at least a steadier life. I want to be able to keep up with what is going on.

I don’t want to have to say I’m sorry all the time because it may offend someone if they have to apologize. I really hate saying I’m sorry when I don’t think it was my fault to begin with.

*sighs* I’m a very… distance person. I dont’ like excessive touching and rough housing. It’s insane. I hate it. Some people don’t understand that. I know they’re different from how i was raised, but I …. this is who I am. I don’t think I’ll change. I don’t like hurting people, and I don’t like being touched excessively….. ya know, wihtout need.

I’m just…. not very personable.

Derringer Meryl [The one thing that I tried] Out