Undone

It’s been a long week, And it’s only tuesday

My pretty little mood swings probably don’t help at all.

I just feel like the world is crumbling around me, and no one wants to help, only hurt.

School is being a pain. So much work to do, I don’t understand how everyone else does it. I’m hoping and praying that I can graduate early. *falls down on her knees* I really am. the social aspects of school are really starting to…. *blinks* kill me quickly.

I admit, I don’t want to work at the Gamestop for the rest of my life, it’s not one of those things you aspire to, it’s not. *smiles and looks away wistfully* what I really want to do is write. I want to write for their magazine, any magazine! I might want to start my own for girl gamers. It’s really not fair, it isn’t. There is no magazines that take the time to admire all the girly ways of the gamer. I mean really. I think it could succeed. Even guys would buy it, cause they want to get their girls interested in the games that are their life, help them to understand.

I want to publish my diary and call it Dear You: Confessions to an Imagined Lover

I have ambitions. I have goals. I can see a light at the end of a tunnel, but no one has told me how to get there yet, and that’s the part I really struggle with. Do I need to go to school and to become a good writer?

Should I be a writer at all? I don’t know where to go now. Because all of the sudden I realized that I can’t teach, and that I can’t stand high school. I can’t go back. I’d hate myself for working in a place as unbearable as a High school, and if I want to kill all the students now, what will I want to do to them then?

I lack direction.

I feel like a dandelion seed, carried on the wind of lost hope and foresight.

I had my life planned, and now– I’ve gone and lost all of the planning I had.

Sometimes I wish I knew the people who read this. So I knew who I was dumping my problems on to.

Yeah Right.

Derringer Meryl [I’m just standin’ and mumblin’ and starin’ at my shoes] Out