Undone

That’s called victim shaming.

If I dress like I’m giving it away, that may not be a poor choice, but I’m not saying “hey guys, how about you rape me? sounds like fun.” Because there is a difference between rape and sex. Rape is a violation of a person’s right to say NO to sexual intercourse. A girl’s outfit may say “yes, please!” but she, herself, can still say “No thanks, I’ll pass” Because it doesn’t matter what my outfit says, it doesn’t matter if I say yes, and then I change my mind.

Now, do I think girls (including my own daughters asleep in the next room) should wear revealing clothes? no. Can I control what others do? Also no. I’m going to raise them the best I can. Good people get raped by people who have something in their head wrong with them, either at the moment, or permanently. Something that stops them from hearing the “no.” What if the person is physically incapable of saying no? or grasping the situation at hand (such as mental deficit or drugs) does that make it ok to rape them? Uh still NO. If I were, dressed scandalously, passed out in an ally in a bad part of town, that makes it “ok” for someone to violate my body? HOW ABOUT NOT. Maybe I’m not passed out, maybe I”m just stone cold drunk. Still not ok, why?

Because I”m not able to make that choice.

Now, I work with men, I live and I am married to a wonderful man, I had boyfriends before that, and had older brothers. You know how many of them ran around raping people? 0. WHY? Because they are people, not animals. They do not have the animalistic need to just screw whatever they see. It’s called rationale, it’s called the light of Christ, it’s called morality, and a convenience. To assume that men have NO control over themselves whatsoever is insulting to them. I think it’s MORE important to remember that those awesome boobs, and thighs, and hair and gorgeous face, whatever, are attached to a person. With a brain. She has parents, probably siblings, friends, a job, a home, bills, etc. The victim of rape isn’t a thing. They aren’t a number, just a statistic for the area that they live in. They are real. Everything about them, is real. People should think about it more. Don’t victim shame. If you looked closer, just a little, you might find that the people who you condemn for their clothes or their lifestyle are a bit more like you than you expected. 100% of rape victims, are people. Don’t dehumanize them.