Undone

So life at the new store is going well, doesn’t stop my co-workers from teasing me. That’s okay, I’m dealing, and I’m loving it all to pieces.

School is hectic, preventing me from my net usage. which is a bummer and a half, cause I love it on the net, and It makes me feeel better to write on here.

I have to look down when I talk to you

I do. I have to look down now. I got my pancakes, and while I don’t know if it’s awkward for him, cause I’m not him…. But I have to look down when I talk to him. He might see the conflict brimming behind the glassy stare I’d give him. It hurts to look him in the eyes.

If you ever met me face to face, you’d know that the only time i look someone in the eye is when they’re telling me something important, like vitally. Life or death important. Like that.

Oh, Did I tell you, I started hurting myself again. it’s almost like it’s involentary. Okay it is involentary. I dig my nails into my arms if someone at school is annoying me, because I don’t understand why– they are the way they are.then of course i dug my car keys into my arm because I was talking to him, and it kept my mind off of him…. off of the fact that …..

I was rejected again.

Okay, so I promised to let go if he just gave me the little code. So I should. I should shut up.

I should just say-

The thing I miss the most about the Mall is ….. You.

Derringer Meryl [Stalk me] Out