Jul
20
2009

I feel weirdly compelled

To post this again. I feel like It screams a sort of forgiveness that is important to remember. To remember for our family, our friends, everyone.

Hate Me, Blue October

It’s easy to give up on people. It’s easy to say “I can’t do this anymore” and walk away. I hear this song from his mother’s point of view. Which you may not hear her at the beginning of the song, but the following message was left for the main singer by his mother… “Hi Justin! This is your mother. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya. See ya! Bye Bye!” Isn’t that like a mom? Even though her son was sick, and he was often hurtful towards her, and self destructive…. she put herself out there. To love him anyway. I feel like I keep repeating myself with this blog sometimes. especially in relation to this song… I wish i could echo any of it’s sentiments accurately.

I know my mom is like his mom. I hope I can be like that too. I know in some small ways I am. I know my mom made sure I took my medicine, made sure I got the help I needed. I know she cried with me (still does) when I feel like I’m breaking apart. I know my mom is there for me. I hope I can be as great as she is. As supportive, as loving.
Derringer Meryl

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