Undone

I’m missing something. Well I am missing something. My brains. I have 19 days until Audrey is here, and I”m fairly sure she has stolen the largest portion of my working brain. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills here people! I am missing some of my newborn clothes. I know that what I’ve found is NOT all of them. I am missing TOO many. I do want to pick up like a pack or two of onesies (I have an illness, baby clothes are like kryptonite, I’m too weak to resist. What a poorly worded reference…. moving on.) just so that everything that Audrey wears isn’t a hand me down. Though She is getting some new clothes too, thanks to my love of Carters. **LOOOOOOOVE**

My foot is swelling. The feet trade off which one is swelling worse. I bougth Audrey a lovie blanket a lot like Katie’s (so soft) Which I’m trying to keep away from Katie who is a blanket horder. LOL. If Audrey is like Katie, she won’t love blankets until she’s 2 anyway. 🙂

I feel like I”m not doing anything special to celebrate Audrey.I keep thinking that I need to do something. Katie got letters (spelling Kate) for her wall (which aren’t hanging up because there’s no room! Thus why I haven’t done it this time!) I haven’t made her a blanket, I haven’t done a dang thing! (though I technically have sock monkey fabric that If I had my act together would make a great blanket for her. But it’s not going to happen in 19 days. 🙁 So let’s just sigh, roll our eys on move on.) I do want to make some burp cloths because mine have dissappeared in the great baby clothes loss. Seriously, I had some cute things that have gone missing… and some cute things that have been perma stained by baby puke.

I remember after Katie had smeared something all over a super cute outfit and I was crying about it in the bathroom that I needed to A) calm down and B) get a grip. It was clothes. I had always been taught as a kid to respect the stuff I had and make sure I took really good care of it (Not that I always did, but I can’t remember ever breaking a toy. I broke a bed from jumping on it, and I still mourn the loss of my bed, it was so very pretty and princess-y. I also broke a step stool too. 🙁 I loved it too my dad made it for me.) otherwise i’d have to get rid of it. (Oh snap now I remember the 2 million jewelry boxes I broke. Ok, I was a bad kid, but I took care of my clothes, ok? Though some got lost, mysteriously. I had this shirt with bugs on it that I loved, and that dang thing just walked off, I swear to you!)

I digress… I was crying over a surely ruined Katie outfit when i realized it was just clothes. I love my daughter, and I want her to know that things are important, and we should do our best to keep things nice — BUT that things are never MORE important than people. So I don’t think I’ve shed a tear over clothes since then. Also, a few helpings of Kate Gosselin yelling at her kids about not playing with markers because they’d ruin their clothes sobered me up. It’s no fun being a kid when you can’t… be a kid. I understand that she has 8 and can’t spend all day scrubbing marker out of clothes and can’t spend all day buying NEW clothes because … well dang it there’s eight of them and If I was sobbing from the price of my one daughter’s clothes, then she would probably outright scream and pull her hair out if they all got their clothes dirty…. but that’s the thing. What’s more important? Your kids having fun and getting messy and being kids, or a bunch of clothes? I still understand WHY she does what she does, but what is she teaching her kids by doing it? I just think that sometimes there’s a trade off.

Anyway. I feel like Audrey isn’t as celebrated as Katie was, which is interesting because things have been different all the way around this time. Obviously it can’t be completely teh same, I already have one. LOL. I am really excited about having her. I was just telling Scott the other day that this time i feel more excited, wtih Katie I wasn’t sure what Kind of mom I would be. I wasn’t sure that I could do anything. I’m not sure this time, but I feel more prepared.

But I still feel like I’m losing my mind, like I need something to be more prepared!

Derringer Meryl [feet the size of my face] Out