Undone

I know that during my pregnancy my moods are, while sometimes stable, also they are very unpredictible. I like to think of it as a controlled sort of insanity.

Sometimes I think more literarily while i’m pregnant– and sometimes it’s just more… well crazy…

I imagine…

A beautiful woman sits in front of a modest vanity. She is practicing her nightly rituals, unpinning her hair wiping off her lipstick, and applying a smooth veneer of cold cream under her eyes. As tradition dictates she will only leave the cold cream there for 10 minutes as she finishes unpinning the stylish rolls in her hair.  She sighs as her mind begins to wander.

It runs through the same day that it always does, she woke up, got dressed, made breakfast, cleaned the house, cooked lunch, did the laundry, made dinner, and sat awkwardly across the table from her husband as they both chewed in silence. It wasn’t that life was boring. She glanced in the mirror. Her skin was like porcelin, her dark hair framed her face with a slight wave. She was boring. Wasn’t this face the same face he had woken to day after day for years? She heaved another sigh. No, she wasn’t boring. Someone else was more interesting. As per tradition after dinner, he excused himself to go to the bar. She wasn’t sure if that was really where he went, he did usually come back drunk though,  which was evidence enough.  She sighed as she wiped the cold cream off. She turned to face her bed. Perfectly made after this morning. In her perfect house with it’s perfect decor. A beautiful yard, and new car in the garage. She wondered complacently if anything could really be perfect. Her heart turned cold for a moment. Could she really live this way, forever?

She forced a smile as she turned down the sheets on her bed. Yes. She could live this way forever– but she would never be beautiful again.

—–

Derringer Meryl [sheesh where do I get this?] out