Nov
09
2008

A PhD in Horribleness.. here’s to hope

I am, as tradition dictates, finishing up Dr. Horrible for the weekend. I will probably re-watch it tomorrow so that Katie can watch it with me. She usually does.

I will cover some lighter news before heading on to my more heavy topic. So we did do pictures today, Katie was rough. BUT I think we’ll have some wicked awesome pictures. We did get all of our to-do list done. Mandarin Loved her gift, which was a quilt, I will put up some pictures tomorrow. they are pictures taken with my cell phone so they aren’t SUPER high quality, but hey, some pictures are better than no pictures, right? I am absolutely exhausted from today. Scott can say so triple as he is often very very tired, and we went out walking around the garden. I had a lot of fun. I’m SUPER sore from it though. that just speaks to my physicality, right? Yeah I’m pathetic. On to the serious stuff.

This might be a bit morbid– Please if you are pregnant, plan to be pregnant, or are often made nervous by talking about serious subjects– please skip my blog for today

Are you listening?

Please don’t enter this haphazardly.

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A friend of mine via the internet suffered a still birth in March 2007, and while it was hard to see pictures of her wonderful son, and his funeral (hard for me personally) I can’t imagine people who would tell her to not discuss her loss. Maybe because I feel for her in a way. More sympathy than empathy– I couldn’t possibly imagine how horrific that would feel– but her baby (baby K I will call him) was important to her, and she is an important person to me, so I would never wish for her to stop sharing her story. It’s a hard thing to love and lose a baby. Complicated and rough.

(interjection here: I am fine in my pregnancy to my awares, however I am writing this post in a ‘every baby is a miracle’ kind of way…)

No one understands the pain that a mother (or a woman who was to become a mother) who has not felt that loss. I dont’ mean to deminish those who have not lost, but I believe deeply it is a pain only a mother can understand. It rocks you to the core. The fear of a lost child is earth shaking. No matter what state of life that child is in.

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1 Comment

  • Mandinkus

    Yes, I did love it! It’s so cute and snuggly! The baby showers have kinda made this whole thing start to seem real, it’s strange.

    I still worry that something will happen with my baby, especially since I’ve had such an easy pregnancy (things are so good, something has to go wrong type idea). And then they are born and you worry about SIDS and everything else. But not talking about things like this makes it so much worse! So many people bottle up inside, and it eats away at you. I’m glad that your friend is sharing pictures and stuff and talking about it.

    Comment | November 10, 2008

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