Undone

It’s been a bit, hasn’t it? I’ll cover from saturday forward, because– well, that’s the day I remember Last.

I stayed up really late on friday, so waking up on Saturday was hard, but I did it. I did my best to get my homework done…. but i’m a pretty easily distracted person when it comes to homework stuffages. I got most of one of my assignments done, and touched on my essay (draft one due today, not done) i got called into work, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with that. I got home and Care Bear, Scott, and I went down to D&D.

Now, as a precursor to the following, I realize that this was all me. I’m pretty sensitive to moods and stuff, and I mean ….. well, really really sensitive, that’s what I mean. Anyway, i felt like the mojo was off. I asked Scott about it, and he said everything felt normal to him. I can’t quite place it. It seems like something was missing, or something. I was very distracted all night too. *blush* Scott was playing very well too. I’m just not good at all that tactical stuff yet. It’s the same as my basic attack in video games, i’m a hack and slash. I don’t know all the cool moves, and I might never know them…. I just do what seems effective. Anyway, the big deal to me was that it seemed like the mojo was off.

Then I went with Care Bear to her Dorm, and stayed the night there. It was the shortest goodnight ever for Scott and I’s record book. It felt weird. Accompanied by the thoughts of “I can’t wait until we don’t have to say good bye llke this!” Care Bear and I talked until really late (catching up…)

On Sunday Scott fell asleep after I woke him up to come get me. So, we got to listen to some of Conference in the car… 🙂 It was good. I enjoyed conference. Lots about the family. Lots focusing on the duties of married people. I found it to apply greatly to me. Nothing much of consequence happened. I made Scott take a nap, because he was freaky exhausted from the week of staying up late. I know how that is. I feel like I could sleep through everything. *sighs* But alas, I have homework out the wazoo. I got to hang out a lot with Scott’s sisters, which i thought was neat. I love hanging out with Scott’s friends and family. I find that I’m getting to be less Shy Meryl, and more Normal Meryl… which is nice. I don’t particularly like being shy, i just sorta get… well, would it be silly to say …. stage fright? Cause that’s as close as I can think. Everyone is watching you. Wants to know more about you, and I’m just sitting there thinking “What should I say, should I say anything?” and now, Happily, some of that stuff has gone away. Sitting at dinner with Scott’s family is just like sitting to dinner with mine.

Scott Drove me home, he inquired about my mellow mood, and I brought something up, I dont’ really like to bring up…. my exes. I hate talking about them– but I realize that they are part of who I am now. In a way. Each of them (well, okay, a few of them) have changed my life, and Scott should know that they had a role in that. I don’t particularly like to talk about them simply because if Scott ever feels the way I feel about his exes… well, then it’s not his favorite topic either. But I had a few epiphanies about my dating history, and I thought i should share it with him. Then Scott and I covered some pressing details– and then he left, feeling a whole lot better than when he came. 🙂 I’m glad.

Anyway. I have to head to school. Maybe i can cover emotional aspects of this (like do my normal “I feel this way about that.” stuff) later on. Basically, my hands are tied in homework, so maybe not.

Derringer Meryl [Hecktic Homework Rush] Out