Undone

There you go! 😀 Lots of images, lots of fun at the party. I’m really proud of the quilt. I need to get Katie’s BIG girl quilt done for her bed. Since she’ll be moving into a big girl bed next year! Maybe I should put “Fabric/Fabric Gift cards” on my Christmas list.

Derringer Meryl [Feelin’ tired] Out

That in addition to being EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE coffee creamer also smells horrible? Yes, it’s true. I ignored my mother’s warning of “Hey that dry coffee creamer will leak into your bag if you don’t watch it…” and it did, and now my bag smells HORRIFIC. Oh well.

Did I mention (recently) that Amazon is like THE best place to get MP3’s? I’m not usually a fan of buying CD’s but i recently purchased the Twilight Soundtrack for $3.99 at amazon.com digitally, and i’m in love. Not only is is the CD awesome, it’s also not managed with Digital rights management like songs from iTunes. I hate itunes. Sorry Apple. Only not so sorry.

I’m going to see if any other of my favorite bands/musicals, etc have albums online. $3.99 was such a fair price for the music, I didn’t have to think twice about purchasing it!! I am seriously in Love. I’ve listened to it at least… 30 times. Five or more times a day.

Christmas is coming. I’m trying to think of a few things to Get Katie. Sometimes I think of something REALLY big (IE:

yeah I know, overboard…. also I don’t think she’d use it much. So I need to think of something I think she’d love that doesn’t take up an entire basement. LOL. I was thinking Kitchen type stuff, maybe even putting some of it in the kitchen so she can play while I cook. Instead of grabbing my stuff off the counter? LOL Yeah right.  Maybe I should get her a Table from Ikea– to put in the Kitchen. Who knows. I still have some time 🙂

Off to think about it.

Derringer Meryl [it’s beginning to look a lot like… ] Out

yes, I slept all day. I did a few  other things like cleaned the house in a few different places– but If I had to sum today up in a word, it would be sleep. 🙂 It was goooooooooooood.

I seem to have hit the exhaustion stage. Who would have thunk. I am not really appreciative of this stage as I have a lot of stuff to do, and usually not a ton of time to do it in…. so exhaustion is not an option really.

We had tomato soup for dinner, and Katie actually refused to eat her grilled cheese, it was very very odd.

Derringer Meryl [long day… of sleeping] Out

I am, as tradition dictates, finishing up Dr. Horrible for the weekend. I will probably re-watch it tomorrow so that Katie can watch it with me. She usually does.

I will cover some lighter news before heading on to my more heavy topic. So we did do pictures today, Katie was rough. BUT I think we’ll have some wicked awesome pictures. We did get all of our to-do list done. Mandarin Loved her gift, which was a quilt, I will put up some pictures tomorrow. they are pictures taken with my cell phone so they aren’t SUPER high quality, but hey, some pictures are better than no pictures, right? I am absolutely exhausted from today. Scott can say so triple as he is often very very tired, and we went out walking around the garden. I had a lot of fun. I’m SUPER sore from it though. that just speaks to my physicality, right? Yeah I’m pathetic. On to the serious stuff.

This might be a bit morbid– Please if you are pregnant, plan to be pregnant, or are often made nervous by talking about serious subjects– please skip my blog for today

Are you listening?

Please don’t enter this haphazardly.

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A friend of mine via the internet suffered a still birth in March 2007, and while it was hard to see pictures of her wonderful son, and his funeral (hard for me personally) I can’t imagine people who would tell her to not discuss her loss. Maybe because I feel for her in a way. More sympathy than empathy– I couldn’t possibly imagine how horrific that would feel– but her baby (baby K I will call him) was important to her, and she is an important person to me, so I would never wish for her to stop sharing her story. It’s a hard thing to love and lose a baby. Complicated and rough.

(interjection here: I am fine in my pregnancy to my awares, however I am writing this post in a ‘every baby is a miracle’ kind of way…)

No one understands the pain that a mother (or a woman who was to become a mother) who has not felt that loss. I dont’ mean to deminish those who have not lost, but I believe deeply it is a pain only a mother can understand. It rocks you to the core. The fear of a lost child is earth shaking. No matter what state of life that child is in.

The title to this post makes me think of Pink Floyd’s The Wall But at the same time I’m really wondering if anyone is out there…

It is possible to comment. I wish I had a big Arrow pointing to them, but comments can be left by clicking the number UNDER the date on each post. Please comment? I’ll cry if you don’t. Since I”m pregnant– that’s not really that hard of a task.

I won an ebay bid for some maternity clothes. I’m super excited. I don’t really feel very comfortable talking too much about my pregnancy. I have a very uneasy unhappy feeling about the whole thing. I carry a lot of guilt about it. I feel like someone is mad at me, and honestly everyone says they’re not– so what’s my deal. I think I’M mad at me. Which sounds retarded, but I wanted to lose a lot more weight then I did. I wanted to be in a better place before this happened. But I can’t be upset about this, I should have been more responsible. Anyway. I just feel really guilty. I do. I just do. I even felt guilty a bit towards the end of my pregnancy with katie– but I don’t want to talk about that.  Let’s move on– and not focus on my guilty concious.

Tonight I’ll finish Mandarin’s present for the shower tomorrow, and then (in a whirlwind of activity) I will be going to IPG to get our pics taken by the magnificent Amy Lee (NO not the singer. Before you say it… NO.) and then we will stop and pick up a hack saw and Jig saw (If possible) in WVC and then bustle back home so we can pack up stuff and go to the shower. Poor Scott will probably be exhausted. I am hoping there will be a nice block of time between the shower and our photo shoot that he will be able to get some sleep in, also I’ll be driving tomorrow, so he can sleep in the car.

Scott usually brings home breakfast on Fridays (in tradition) I was pretty grumpy as Katie insisted on sleeping in our bed this morning. (This habit is not a favorite of mine, and is an EXTREME pain when Scott has the night off of work) I let her do it, and was ok for most of the night she conked out really well… I don’t know what’s so great about our bed– but in any case… I was trudging to the dining room when Scott asked if I had seen the corkboard and I told him no (I don’t usually check it unless I know there is a bill i need to pay stuck to it… So I went back and looked at it, and he’d bought me tickets to Twilight! Opening night!!!!

I’m so excited. He arranged for his mom to watch Katie and everything. So me and Drama Queen (if she’s available) will be seeing our favorite vampire novel turned into a movie on November 21st at MIDNIGHT!! I’m so enthused. Scott is VERY thoughtful, and sweet… I’m SO lucky!

Scott’s not a huge Twilight fan, so for him to organize for me to have a night out, I SUPER appreciate it!!

I’m SOOOO excited! GOOOO Twilight!

Derringer Meryl [Yay!!] Out