Undone

Can i tell you i’m excited? I’m playing D&D this saturday with Scott, and I’m playing an elf (I seriously considered a hobbit, but ended up going with my first choice of Elf) Luckily i’ve read enoug Lord of the Rings Trivia to know some good Human Jokes. Heh. Ah yes, the IMDB is a good thing.

I changed my layout, obviously. I have to keep up with the jones’s, or the Specialist’s whichever. I haven’t changed mine nearly as much as he has, but psh, whatever. This is mostly because i found this elf picture,and it’s pretty cool.

Also in layout news, I figured out how to BOLD My dates and times so it doesn’t just blend in with the entry. Huzzah! I’m actually pretty ashamed of how long it took. I might end up going back and inserting another break between the date and entry. I dont’ know. *shrugs*

I had a good nap, from around ten to one, which is basically when i’m in school. I sluffed today (That is so a local word, if you don’t know what it means, too bad) and stayed home because I have moments of sincere ookiness. *nods, then laughs* I have moments of sincere Willow Channeling. Isn’t that great? If I could be like Pre-Wicca-Lesbian Willow, that’s alright. I wouldn’t mind. 🙂

Some of my contacts lost a brave war today. The war against small children, *shifty eyes* part of me wants them to learn a lesson, part of me knows I should have put them away– and another part of me wants to scream at their parents to watch them more carefully!

I can’t do that though. Mom wants everyone to get along while they’re here. Psh. Those were expensive contacts half a paycheck, Now how much I make isn’t the issue here (though it’s a very small amount) but imagine half of your paycheck just became a child’s play toy, to the point they were ruined.

Happy image, eh?

Then I pointed out to my brother they had trashed several pair, and he says “Yeah, Tht was Ewan” and I was pretty angry. Did he watch him trash them? Or what? I mean, C’mon! If he knows what kid did it, he should have reprimanded them, or something! I’m not hard core into punishing kids. In fact i’m a big sissy. I admit it…. But Ya know, when it gets down to SCREAMING because their parents are inattentive, and TRASHING expensive things…. That’s when it’s time for a fetching intervension. *hmph*

My Buffy Poster (I got it free, it’s my baby) got ruined. Kinda. I can still use it, but it’s getting pretty thrashed. it’s used to being on my door… I had to get a new toothbrush, mine was ever so nicely used in the tub (ew. I’m sorry, but ew.) They drew all over the walls in the extra bedroom (you can guess what i’ll be doing, scrub scrub!) Ruined one or two DVDs. And…. basically made me feeling like i’m living in some sort of wierdo prison.

Don’t get me wrong. I love kids. I just don’t love it when the kids are unruly, and very very VERY bad smelling (trust me) because their parents have decided to be a passive parenting type. i don’t enjoy the fact that nothing can be left out (including food) because “the hoards” can come and swoop them up. Ack!

Blah. i think i’m done Ranting. I’m going to go check on my precious Contacts, in my room, and see exactly how many died in the battle.

Derring Meryl [Saturday is a Special Day] Out

Since Yahoo Messenger is being a poo, and won’t let me on so I can message Scott, i’ll just cut to the chase and put up here why i wasn’t on yesterday.

I caught the flu. Yep. Or something VERY akin. There was some not so fun aching and coughing and throwing-up involved. I’m just happy it happened after monday but before saturday. I’m feeling loads better, and I got a blessing from Dax and my oldest brother. I slept a lot, expended a lot of my energy by walking to and from the bathroom. I began to feel just tads better around eleven, but by that time i felt good enough that i could sleep. I even slept on the couch last night because i was tired of walking into my door. Yeah. Walking into my door because i’m used to sleeping with my door open, and I ran smack into it at least twice trying to make it to the bathroom. It wasn’t so much fun. I’m going to stay home from school today I think, because all i have in my stomach is two pieces of toast with peanut butter on them. I might go make myself some more in a minute….

*smiles* the greatest thing that happened yesterday is that while I was laying on my mom’s bed, slightly dozing, she came to me and said “Have you read Scott’s Journal Today?” To which I responded “No, have you seen me go downstairs?” I was tired, and feeling a little snippity. No excuse all the same. She said to me “Do you want me to go and print it off so you can read it?” and I said “Yeah” so she did, like a good mommy would. Of course… she didn’t cut and paste, like i would have, and so the edges got cut off, but she was pretty good at filling what was cut off in. She even read it to me.

What a nice mommy I have. 🙂 Especially since i had her running all over yesterday to help me feel better. For that matter I sorta had Dax doing a lot for me too. 😀 Anyway, I haven’t emailed my teachers telling them sorry for being absent and what not… so I better go do that. Can you imagine i spent all that time writing that stupid essay and then was too sick to turn it in!? How outrageous!

Derringer Meryl [Uhg, I need to get better] Out

Can I agree with my friend at Darthyoshi.com that yesterday ruled all? Yes. I’m still giggly and smiley from it all.

I would continue to be such the giggly and smiley if it weren’t for school, but I have to say, that today I was increasingly smarter sounding. *nods* definitely. I knew things. I pulled things from Seminary that I had learned, and I even commented in class, without being afraid that I sounded like an idiot. I guess i’m sorta numb to it all. I don’t care what other people think about me. I had a fan-freakin’-tastic time yesterday, so what other people might say doesn’t matter.

I have Toxic Stuck in my head, thus i’ve been listening to it, over and over again. *nods* I’m a Britney fan, what can I say. I don’t like her lifestyle. I think her choices in her life are poor. I think she could benifit from a good smack upside the head– but I do so enjoy her songs. Does that make me a little wrong? Possibly.

I used to hate Rollerskating, and now I find myself saying to my family “we should go do this” and to my friends “When you come up from college at Spring break we should go rollerskating.” They think I’m psycho, which is okay, because i might well be. I only fell twice, and i still had a great time.

Well, I have more class, and essay goodness. And a chapter of a D&D manual to read– which I hope to fit in somewhere before saturday– and hopefully Guts (You know i love you Guts!) will cover my shift. 🙂 Right??

Derringer Meryl [The taste of your lips] Out

I have to lyric spew this. I love this song, and in the silence of the night, i’m falling in love with it. It’s more beautiful than anything I can think of.

I Miss You, Blink182

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Where you can always find me

We’ll have Halloween on Christmas

And in the night we’ll wish this never ends

We’ll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)

(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I’m so sorry

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted

Webs from all the spiders

Catching things and eating their insides

Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight

Stop this pain tonight

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already

The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already

The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already

The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already

The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Derringer Meryl [Loving what is sang to me] Out

I need this like a hole in the head. Isn’t this great? Isn’t the screaming, and the impending doom wonderful? Isn’t the fact that my $100 dollar piece of machinery on the shag carpeting sucking in dust and stray particles. And it’s mine. I just want to make this day end. I want to make this “vacation” end. I want to escape. This is some kind of torture. IT’s for my sins. It’s for the fact that i considered moving in with a guy. it’s because I cuss daily (a bad habit) it’s because I’m bad. It’s because i’m dirty. I’m broken….

I don’t have time for this. I dont’ have time to have important things of mine broken. I don’t appreciate it. I don’t appreciate any of this. I bought something JUST so the gamecube wouldn’t be on the floor. It’s like everything and anything. That system is one of the first things I bought with my large paychecks (one of the few large paychecks.

I feel like i’m playing a game of “I hurt but i can’t tell you why” and I want to. Oh I do. I want everyone to know. I want to make it stop. I want to make the pain stop, and I want to make it go away. I can’t. I can’t because it would hurt someone else in the process. I can’t help caring. I’m supposed to. I’m supposed to put people before myself. That’s what I’ve been taught. That’s why I’m in hell. Silently.

Derringer Meryl [Hating Everything] Out