Undone

You know those moments in romantic movies where you swoon just a little and think “why doesn’t that ever happen to me?” it’s because it just … doesn’t happen like that.

For example….

It’s prom (or equally fancy schmancy dance), and the “destined” couple are dancing, and it’s beautiful. Her dress is beautiful, the music is beautiful…. everything is perfect. He starts to sing, as they slowly make their way around the floor, she blushes, embarassed.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

She looks over the city scape out the large window. A glitter and glow. Sparkling like a million diamonds the sun set casting it’s last rays of glow over the dim mountains on the horizon.

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

The girl appears to be thinking about the moments to follow — the things she shouldn’t say that are welling within her. The perfectly scripted words trill from her lips in her sweet and endearing voice. Meek and lovable. She peers up through her lashes to her date.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

“thank you.” she says tears welling in her eyes. The perfect end to the perfect date.  she stands on her tip toes just a little to give him a kiss, building into a deeper more passionate one.

I cant live
With or without you

The song ends beautifully, the room drains slowly, as people know the night has ended. Our couple delays, waiting, trying  to extend the evening. They stand by the large windows, spanning the ceiling to the floor. Holding each other closely, the evening ends, the sun has set, the room is empty but themselves and a few stragglers.

“I’ll Never Forget you.” he whispers huskily.  Tears run down her face freely. Her dress is beautiful, the night is perfect.

and the day is done.

——————

I find it amazing that as a culture we are so obsessed with happy endings. I know that overall we wish things would work out better. we aim for it. But happiness comes with a price. The price of being happy is sadness. You wouldn’t know how great it is to be where you are, unless you’d been somewhere else that was worse.

it’s hard to imagine needing sadness. To need the downs. No one likes the sad endings when the come, but– it’s all part of a cycle. You get out of life what you put into it– but if that was to stand to reason– that nothing bad would ever happen to someone who only does good things. Right? The never ending quandry of “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

We aren’t good people. We aren’t bad people. We are people. our actions and behaviours– will be judged by a higher being at another time.  I contend, by my prior statement– bad things happen to people.  Doesn’t that make more sense? I’m sure that wouldn’t sate or comfort someone in their time of need– I would in fact further contend that things are not bad or good (death, money troubles, marriage, divorce, childbirth, etc)  that these are just things. Events I would say.  So Things happen to people.  There’s  your answer. Why do bad things happen to good people. Because THINGS happen to PEOPLE. Sometimes they are good or bad, and honestly, things cannot discriminate amid good and bad people. Things just happen the way they do.

Sometimes… things happen to people. And you can fight it, and you can hide in your basement and become a hermit– but things happen.

People will get mad, sad, angry, happy, glad, joyus, determined, and a world of other emotions. Time marches on. Time heals most wounds, and some it doesn’t. And people will, most usually if they are determined to, get over it.  Time will erode memories, bodies, passion, all things physical. It will wash you clean.

Derringer Meryl [Feeling a bit… out there today] Out

To know you’re pregnant, but not feel it. Other than a few bouts of “MAN i wish I could throw up” and my need to pee like 20 times a day, nothing has really changed at all. It’s weird. Oh well.

Katie read a book in bed this morning (in our bed, she went to sleep at 9pm and slept most of the night in her own bed, but around 5 woke up and came into mine. I don’t mind too much. I know that once she’s in the basement in a big girl bed, she will probably roll out of bed, and fall asleep somewhere  along the way. She’s done it before … only rolling out of Scott and I’s bed. LOL. I’m trying to write down all the things Katie is going to need, and the new baby will need when the time comes. I think we’ll be better prepared this time (duh) but we will need LOTS of clothes if we have a boy, as currently we HAVE no boy clothes. Though I think we have a few pieces that could go either way.

Scott made Chicken Enchilada’s (YEAH! I KNOW!) on Monday and we had them as left overs last night. They were so awesome. Then I ran Katie to the store to pick up a few things we need to last us the week. (Bread Milk, eggs… cookies. You know stuff like that)  and she zoned out in the car. It was less than five minutes in the car, and she was DONE. I watched a few episodes of FMA last night, as I would rank it as one of the TOP five Anime Ever. Why? The story is complex, but not impossible to follow, they explain it, but they dont’ spell it out. There is a small einsy smidgeon of romance for those who have enough of an imagination to see it — and lots of laughs and hilarity you expect in an Anime. It’s re-watchable, which is desirable in an anime, and if you watch the movie too, it has a pretty good ending. I realized that even though i wasn’t tired I probably better go to bed (and thusly did) as Katie would probably be rising early. She didn’t really. She’s a cuddle bug though, and wants to cuddle you when sleeping. I don’t mind having someone next to me when sleeping, however I do not enjoy being burrowed into while sleeping. So I ended up sleeping upsidedown on the bed as Katie chased me (in a sleepy state) trying to nuzzle next to me. Scott brought home donuts, which make me say yay!

I’m excited about my Brother’s impending marriage… is impending the right word? That makes it sound forboding I think.  Impending… Upcoming would be better. Let’s just go with that. Upcoming wedding! Much better. I still haven’t met his fiancee, however I’m not often in Salt Lake. The majority of my day occurs looking otuside at some beautiful foliage/scenery, wishing I were anywhere but here (No offense to my co-workers, but i think if people were paid to live life, we’d all go for that job instead of the one we have.) They’ve opened new positions at work for “Customer Advocacy” However I won’t be applying. Mostly because I hate angry customers. Really. Sorry angry customers, you should work with someone who will be calm in dealing with you, and won’t need an antacid prescribed just to work with you.

Anyway– Off to work!
Derringer Meryl [Hiho Hiho, it’s off to work I go] Out

There you go! 😀 Lots of images, lots of fun at the party. I’m really proud of the quilt. I need to get Katie’s BIG girl quilt done for her bed. Since she’ll be moving into a big girl bed next year! Maybe I should put “Fabric/Fabric Gift cards” on my Christmas list.

Derringer Meryl [Feelin’ tired] Out

That in addition to being EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE coffee creamer also smells horrible? Yes, it’s true. I ignored my mother’s warning of “Hey that dry coffee creamer will leak into your bag if you don’t watch it…” and it did, and now my bag smells HORRIFIC. Oh well.

Did I mention (recently) that Amazon is like THE best place to get MP3’s? I’m not usually a fan of buying CD’s but i recently purchased the Twilight Soundtrack for $3.99 at amazon.com digitally, and i’m in love. Not only is is the CD awesome, it’s also not managed with Digital rights management like songs from iTunes. I hate itunes. Sorry Apple. Only not so sorry.

I’m going to see if any other of my favorite bands/musicals, etc have albums online. $3.99 was such a fair price for the music, I didn’t have to think twice about purchasing it!! I am seriously in Love. I’ve listened to it at least… 30 times. Five or more times a day.

Christmas is coming. I’m trying to think of a few things to Get Katie. Sometimes I think of something REALLY big (IE:

yeah I know, overboard…. also I don’t think she’d use it much. So I need to think of something I think she’d love that doesn’t take up an entire basement. LOL. I was thinking Kitchen type stuff, maybe even putting some of it in the kitchen so she can play while I cook. Instead of grabbing my stuff off the counter? LOL Yeah right.  Maybe I should get her a Table from Ikea– to put in the Kitchen. Who knows. I still have some time 🙂

Off to think about it.

Derringer Meryl [it’s beginning to look a lot like… ] Out

yes, I slept all day. I did a few  other things like cleaned the house in a few different places– but If I had to sum today up in a word, it would be sleep. 🙂 It was goooooooooooood.

I seem to have hit the exhaustion stage. Who would have thunk. I am not really appreciative of this stage as I have a lot of stuff to do, and usually not a ton of time to do it in…. so exhaustion is not an option really.

We had tomato soup for dinner, and Katie actually refused to eat her grilled cheese, it was very very odd.

Derringer Meryl [long day… of sleeping] Out