Undone

you stand back, try to be the impassive friend, try to like the little fucker she’s picked out for a boyfriend, and Oh Believe me, I tried. I even talked to the guy

but you can tell he’s bad news, from the moment he says you look like you’d castrate a man. Oh Yeah. You love the guy she’s chosen to spend her time with instead of you. he’s a great guy. but you keep quiet, because it’s the polite thing to do. You keep your mouth shut. Cause you love your friend more than anything, and you want her to be happy, but you see the brick wall she’s about to hit, you want to keep her from it, somehow save her– but it’s too damn late now.

all you have now, to keep her from being sad is Ben and Jerry’s and kicking the bastard in the nuts till he cries like a school girl…. Oh, and since she doesn’t want to do the first one– you’ll do the second. A lot, ya know, to compensate.

and eventually that won’t even make you feel better. and hell, since you’re the one doing bodily harm to him, she’s probably not feeling any better either.

It all comes full circle back to Ben and Jerry’s

Rich Jerks.

Today sucks. that’s about all i have to say. that today sucks. Gert almost got electrocuted and Friendjamin was in a bad mood. Monkey only ate a little of my damn brownies, and *eyes narrow* shit just happens right now.

A whole lot of stuff i don’t want to think about now or never. So there.

*shrugs* Screw this.

So I sacked the Orlando Idea, obviously. sure, I find him delicious, but… *sighs* It was just too dark, and clutter-y. I think I like this one better. Except, the stupid column on the side, it’s being stupid. Damn. Oh Well. Cant’ have the little site being perfect after only a few hours of trying, right?

Of course not. Oh, BTW sorry if any of this isn’t making sense, i’ve apparently picked up the habit of beginning one word, and ending with a completely different one. Go me.

I’m tired. I ran myself ragged today. Very very ragged. *sighs* I went to see Marco at work (I’m hoping to get a job there….) I went to school (I was a little late… hee hee.) I went to work to sub for friendjamin (he’s so sick, poor guy), then I went to Relief Society (Oh, that was a barrel of laughs) Then I came home and took the brownies that had been cooking while i was at Relief society over to the guys at work. Gert and Monkey….

I tried to be a good girl. Really. *smiles innocently* Gert called me Michelle (he got my name wrong, just like my ex. Jerk. *sighs*) and then Monkey double does it with the spelling my name WRONG.

I know it sounds… stupid, but i was on the verge of tears, i’m not even joking. Shame on me.

Anyway. I’m going to go to bed. That’s actually where I should be anyway. I’m just so tired of this day.

Derringer Meryl [i’m sick of being pushed around] Out

Giddy, that’s the only way to discribe how I feel right now.

Sure i had a uber shibby day. I sucked it up on my Math Test, I ate some chocolate cake which I should probably burn off by doing some pilates, but– i’m not going to right now– hee hee. Then I went to work, still unable to count, and talked to Friendjamin about Monkey. Nothing bad, just venting my frustrations. Poor Friendjamin. He’s ill. I simply must make him some soup to make him feel better, especially after all the great advice he gave me. *twitches* Damn. It’s that time again. Time for the late night Zoloft twitches. God. I hate those.

Right, what makes the day all good. I got an email back from the great people at Xbox, and they say they want to hire me (for like three days, i hope) and i get the best pay ever!! (that i’ve had) $11 an hour! And I plan on working as many hours as possible. I dont’ mind doing odd jobs… err that’s a bad word for it.. i dont’ mind doing something that requires me to dress up like a freak (even though it’s not really freak attire) as long as i get the moolah after.

i know that makes me sound SO much like a whore, but c’mon. I’m a starving college student, puleaze! I’m in the need of money. I’m not greedy, the college is. Quality education, i’m teaching myself. Jerks. Hmph.

Anyway, I have to get up early to go to class (huzzah) and then possibly back to work. I dont’ mind though– cause i need the hours. hours=moolah.

Oh. Want to know what I heard the faucker monkey was planning on doing? Switching out to my old bosses store.

The one he has the major honking hots for.

Derringer Meryl [everyone but me you faucker] Out

Okay, I just did a lyric Spew, but I found this song (I must have mass downloaded) on my computer. I think it wraps things up … *smirks* nicely.

You Don’t Mean Anything, Simple Plan

Maybe I’m just not good enough for you

And maybe I just don’t wanna be like you

And maybe I just don’t wanna know

How low you’re ready to go

I’m not gonna change

You can’t make me

You don’t mean anything to me

You’re what I never want to be

Tell me does it feel good to be like you

Tell me why should I waste my time with you

‘Cuz maybe you always bring me down

I’m sick of being pushed around

I’m not gonna change

You can’t make me

I know you think you know me

You don’t know anything

I know you want to help me

I don’t need anything

Don’t tell me where to go

I don’t need you to know

I admit, it was mainly… my dad’s fault. And Mine, for telling monkey about things, but God. . . . Anyone who has heard my dad talk for ages about something, can understand why i wanted to warn him–

we are a deadly combination– and he ran, like he should have. Good on ya. Too bad you took my heart with ya!