“being there” too much for your kids

Ok. I get the concept, but at the same time, what kind of crap is that?

So a friend posed the question “My daughter oversleeps a lot, and misses the bus, I’m sick of driving her and I feel like she’s not understanding the consequences of being late to school.”

When I think of teenagers, i shy away from the thought of Katie as a teen, because heaven knows I don’t want to venture into that line of thought until I absolutely have to.  So I think about ME as a teen. I was not always the most well put together. AND, I overslept. A lot. Oh, and? My mom woke me up, all the time. (and while those aren’t treasured memories, at least I don’t think so, for my mom as it was FRUSTRATING to try and wake me up, I enjoyed the time to kind of be a bit of a kid. I’m a fairly responsible person and I don’t think my mom waking me up hurt me in the least.) She drove me to school EVERY DAY (not just days I was late, as there was no bus for my school in my area) and when i was dumb and forgot homework or a book at home, I knew that (despite my stupidity) my mom was there to bail me out. I don’t think it taught me to be lazy. I work fourty hours a week, I have a toddler, and a baby on the way, I have a house, I pay bills. I’m a functioning Human being. WHY? because I knew that my mom wouldn’t always be able to bail me out of stuff, and it was nice while she could, and it was great when she could… but we all grow up and say “I need to pay rent, I need to buy food, and if I’m a lazy slob, and if I’m unreliable, I won’t be able to.” I can’t say my parents ever sat me down and ingrained the virtues of hardwork and what not. I knew if I were responsible, I’d be working to get the things I wanted or needed. Mostly, I learned by watching my parents. My dad went to work every day when I was a kid, and worked graves and weird hours, and my mom worked from time to time too. They didnt’ sit with their hand out asking for someone to give them things– they worked to get what they wanted or needed. My brothers all had jobs. I guess you could say I’m only the person I am because of the examples I had set for me.

Anyway. I don’t think(in all of my wise-ness) that you need to make kids learn how hard life is. It’s plain to see. At least it was for me.  Sometimes life sucks, and sometimes it doesn’t. Kids should have a safe and welcome place to be when it does suck– and wouldn’t it be great if it was home?

Derringer Meryl [softie] Out

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