The one where I jump out of my skin

that’s right, I’m on edge, for some reason. (and I don’t mean the cellphone network) I just feel antsy all of the sudden?

I have been going to therapy still. I feel like i’ve turned a very positive corner by leaving Verio. They were a great employer for a long time for me, but it came time, and very evident, that it was time for me to part from Verio. I won’t say anything bad about them, mostly because I don’t like to burn my bridges.
I took a week off (as I mentioned before) and my therapist could tell an obvious difference in me, he said I seemed more relaxed, and like I was taking care of myself. It’s true. I was. I am. I’m trying. I’m putting an effort forth. It’s difficult to remember myself. LIke how I should be tucking myself into a cooshy bed right now instead of blogging. Part of my brain says “KISS MY BUTT SENSIBLE SIDE!!” and I’m staying up. Whee.

New job is great. They are so… HAPPY and sensible, and … relaxed. Don’t let me fool you, they are SERIOUS on security, SUPER SERIOUS! But it’s fun, and they joke and we all kid… and it’s great. Tomorrow I start listening to calls. I’m excited and nervous.

And tired.
Derringer Meryl [So much more to say, tired though] Out

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In case you haven’t heard

Scott FINALLY (as in we’ve been waiting since late June) got approved to get a pump. It should be here monday. We are both metaphorically doing the snoopy dance. I’m glad he’ll get some good sleep before i go back to work and that I won’t have to wonder if he’s passed out from getting a sugar low. he’s happy that he gets to feel human again instead of what passes for human when you have to shoot up insulin at every turn.

I’m not looking forward to this week being my LAST week out. I would take the month of September too if I could, but unless 2 paychecks worth of cash suddenly drops into our laps, it’s not going to happen. Oh well. I’m grateful that I got more time with Audrey than I did with Katie. I’m also grateful for the time I”ve got to spend with Katie. She’s not potty trained by any extent of the mind, but she does ask to go Potty on occasion…. which is a milestone. I’m not going to push potty training on her any too fast. It’d be nice not to have to buy diapers… but I don’t have the energy to ask her every 20 minutes if she needs to pee.


I’ve been watching The Guild online, and immensely enjoying it. I told Scott I think Felicia Day is hot, which she is, however I immediately followed it up with that I think I’m pretty dang awesome too. In case you don’t follow Biggest Loser Friend Edition, I’m doing fairly well on my weight loss. I think so anyway. I’m feeling good about it.  I’m also trying to be good about my intake and what not, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to do what I can. …

Which brings me to the addiction I don’t want to admit I have. Diet Coke. to be specific, I like fountain Diet coke the best, where it’s fizzy but not bottled fizzy. For some reason the maverick near my house has CRAPPY diet coke. Don’t ask me why. It’s horrible. I have to say that the Wendy’s near my house has the BEST diet coke. I try to see how long I can go without one… it’s hard. I’m not addicted to the caffeine, but I just love the taste and the fizz. Scott thinks I”m crazy, and i can see why. I could drink anything I want and I choose one of the only things he CAN drink, it’s boring. Though I will heartily admit that a creme soda, or a fruity soda is my fav, Raspberry or strawberry preferably… but those are hard to find. A local eaterie has red creme soda, and I die nearly every time I eat there. I race the take out guys (I do this every place I do take out actually) to finish the drink before they can get my food so I can have a refill. Other places like Beans and brews I try to pace myself so that I don’t drink it too fast, try and savor it… it’s still usually gone by the time I hit the freeway. Dang it. I wish I could get a 44 oz raspberry creme soda. I think next time I do a grocery run I might snag some raspberry drink and coffee creamer and see how that works (liquid creamer, small since it’s a test) If it works well, then maybe I can wean off of the diet coke. I find that now days I can go w/o eating, but I MUST have a drink…. not that I starve myself… I just would rather drink than eat. Weird right?

I should probably be sleeping since katie is napping and audrey is passed out… still. I will need to get Katie up soon so she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night…. also I have to stay awake to make sure Scott gets to work on time.

Did I mention our cooler died? it did. No good. It still blows air, but it’s not cool. we’re thinking the pump is kaput. we’re going to look into it tomorrow… hopefully! I don’t think i can last ALL day w/o a cooler! Lorna has offered a window cooler if we don’t get it fixed though. So here’s hoping.

I went in for my 6 week appt, all was well, Dr said everything looked like it had healed really well. No offense to him, but I don’t think he was as good as my old OB who was apparently SO magic that he couldn’t even see the scar from my section with Katie. I dont’ think I’ll have that problem this time. It’s not ugly, it’s just not invisible.

My Twilight book has now become so worn from readings/Katie Beatings (that is the beatings Katie gives it, I don’t whack my daughter with a hardback book. Or really at all.) that the cover is coming off. 🙁 No not the dust Jacket. While I enjoy dust Jackets, I mean the hardback binding is broken, and I hate it. Scott is hating having to read it, I put forth a valiant effort IMO to like his book. It’s not my kind of thing, but I found things about the book to discuss with him. I’m trying to draw him out on discussing Twilight as his only statement so far has been “All the men are written like women and it’s clear she didn’t get any masculine input regarding the characters. I know she at least talked to her brothers about the cars, so there  😉

Anyway. I think I’m fairly unapproachable about twilight criticism. I don’t know why it’s one of the few things I feel really passionate about. Worry not fair people. I soon will have a new favorite thing (not unlike Xena, Buffy, and now Twilight) and you will all be released from hearing me blather on about it.

I’ve been toying with the idea for a book myself. I also have been toying with theidea of getting a journal so I can flesh out some of the characters. The only problem is all I have are villains, and no hero. Maybe they can be antiheros? Mmm. maybe not. they’re just unique villains. Maybe it’s not really a book idea at all… just characters I keep in my head.

At some point I’d like to be published. You know … not just internet-I-run-my-own-blog published. Like really write something and have it be published and make money. I would write just about anything… I’d write in a magazine, an online magazine, a collection of short stories, a novel, a comic book, a movie, whatever. I would love to write. I haven’t really written anything since I got married. I’ve even had a hard time blogging regularly… I suppose I think i don’t have much that is interesting to say…. However I do like hearing myself talk.

Derringer Meryl [annoyingly so] OUt



At this moment, i’d like to express my affection for Drag Queens.

I love Drag Queens. *blinks* Heck, I love Gay people. They happen to be some great people. Just because I don’t particularly see why the feel the way the feel, doesn’t mean i have to hate them.

I know one thing is for sure. God doesn’t hate them. So neither should i.

The End.

Derringer Meryl {Connie and Carla} Out

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okay. Right. *blinks*

I suck, the end.

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Overall Icky Feeling

if it were possible to have one person hate every aspect of you, even to the deep and hidden things, that would be my sister-in-law.

I hate to say it, but i feel that she does. Video games are my pride and joy, besides the fact that they’re my job too. She hates those to pieces….

i don’t know what it is exactly, but I get the vibe. Maybe it’s stress, and it’s just oozing out … I don’t know. I still get the “I hate you” vibe all the same.

Derringer Meryl [confused] Out

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