Undone

I’m beginning to like my stress management class more and more. All I’m doing is sleeping now days (Wahoo!) in class. It’s really nice. We’ve been doing these relaxation techniques, and I heard one today that I really liked. 🙂 it was short (about five minutes) and it really worked.

I slept through the other two relaxation techniques (mostly).

So while the stress is on for finals it feels like it does when you’re at the last two weeks in High school and no one wants to do anything because they’re exhausted from prepping for finals, and teachers don’t want to grade five hundred more papers, so they just cancel stuff. (I don’t mind, I just feel like i’m wasting my time) You have to go to class, because something important might happen– but you go and you wish you could have known ahead of time that you could have skipped and not missed a darn thing.

I’m so tired of going to pointless classes. Tired of doing this crappy in between here and there work. No one cares– so–

why am I here again?

I’d much rather be with Scott. This is getting infuriating. >:{

I’m beginning to feel less stressed about class though. (wahoo!) and I’m totally not worrying about the wedding so much. I don’t NEED to spaz, I have Scott helping me out (with choices and such) then my mom, and her sisters (my aunts) my wonderful sister-laws (Sukie and Antigone) are helping with a Bridal shower… and Antigone and her sister are helping with the flowers (maybe? I’m not quite sure, it’s okay either way) And Care Bear comes around and we hang out (I try to, sometimes i just suck and have to work or something) and she keeps me laughing. Seriously one of my greatest friends

The main thing here is– that i have a great support system, and i don’t need to worry about this all by myself.

Derringer Meryl [Gonna Go Check up on Red] Out

*sighs* I’m not procrastinating. Really. It’s just that this isn’t due until the 29th, and I really don’t want to analyze a film right now. especially not a pain in the butt long movie like Lord of the Rings. (The Fellowship of the Ring) which is SO long and SO boring, I want to stab my eyes out. I got assigned it in my group, while the two other people got the second movie (there’s another girl working with me on the first one.) and really all i have to do is spew about the stupid esoteric symbols in the movie for a page… but I don’t wanna.

Really.

Cause all I wanna do is talk to Scott. i want to be distracted. I don’t want to think about the huge mound of homework I have, or the fact that I still have a page and a half things I need to buy for the wedding (or pay for) and the piano player still hasn’t called back. (what a monkey.) and it’s costing a kidney and two-thirds for Scott to come visit me at home. And I keep getting the shaft at work (as in, not scheduled) so I’m basically a working gal with no income…. and a lot of out go. *starts to pull at her hair* it’d be stupid to get a new job now Up here, but it’s impossible for me to get a job down there yet (I’m still in school, and then there’s only a month until the wedding–) and… ugh! *pulls hair out* and i feel like a lazy piece of poo! I’m doing a whole lot of nothing.

BLAH!

Flowers, Garter, and where the heck is my dress? I don’t know. I don’t know much. I should probably just relax and watch as everyone else plans my wedding, cause while i do care about how it turns out, the most important part is the fact that Scott and I are going to be sealed to each other for now and forever.

I think i need that tattooed on my arm or something.

Who knows where i’m going to get the money for my temple skirt…

maybe i’ll sell some plasma… How much do they give for that Antigone. if the annoyance of a needle is worth it… i might go give it a round.

Derringer Meryl [Feeling stretched] Ou

Hello! Sorry about the lack of updates– i’ve been– school-ing. I’m actually at school right now, attempting to get what america calls “A quality education”

yeah

I believe that.

anyway. it’s just getting hecktic. Quite crazy in fact. Wedding plans and what not. They weigh on my mind a lot, and how i tend to lose my mind when Scott’s around, nothing much gets done… because I’m just thinking about how much I love him, and it can’t possibly be … fifty-something days left. (I don’t think it’s fifty seven…)

I’m just ready to be married. If I were endowed to go to the temple, eloping would appear more and more favorable. *nods* But– whatever, I can deal. 😉 I have faith in my ability to withstand.

and I have even more faith in the fact that God isn’t that cruel…

Meanwhile– I have a piano player who won’t return my phone calls (his cell is out of service and he hasn’t returned the message I left at his house.) One cake, for two receptions (I guess?) Bridesmaid dresses that I really should be more involved in, a ring to buy, homework piling up and my hair (I’m so kidding here) is falling out. (It just sounded like some kind of irony… doesn’t it?)

On the plus side, i haven’t bitten my nails in a long time. They’re getting stronger too. More ouchies though– I’ve been getting bruises in odd places. I’m beginning to think i beat myself up in my sleep.

I’m trying to be as useful as possible, but something tells me that there is something else I could do to be more productive. I have an essay to write. A quiz to study for (tomorrow night) and I’m starting to go insane. Okay, not starting, i’m already there and back again (honestly!)

My only source of humor (besides Scott, cause he’s pretty dang funny) is the fact that Leonard Nimoy really did sing a song called “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”

I could laugh for hours. or be horrified for hours. Either way. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [He fought with … a piano player] Out

I’ve been busy working on my psych paper, which i’ve chosen to be on the psychological effects of getting married on a bride.

If any of you married gals would like to give me insight …. ANY OF YOU! seriously, I need more than just my family! I know you’re reading this Scott’s friends. *leers* Email Me if you’re not comfortable leaving a comment. I’d just… I REALLY need your help here. I know that it’s sort notice (since it’s due tomorrow) but send this link to your friends who are married, and your friends send it to their friends. PLEASE?!?

I’d really really appreciate it. I could tell you a story or something if you’ll help me out… please?

I just need to write the paper, and i’m running into dead ends, I need to support it with psychological stuff– and i’m running more on stress.

Is stress psychological? My brain is frying. I have backed up homework that SO needs to be done.

PLEASE please pLeAZe Help me!!

Derringer Meryl [please?] Out

So I’ve been sucking uberly at updating more often. I don’t know what it was about THIS week, but it killed me. It’s getting hard to go to all of my classes (icky classes) but I keep in mind that I only have about eighteen more days, and I’m okay. (wahoo!)

I went only to my psychology class today, I was simply exhausted when I woke up this morning, and i’m not really sure why. *shrugs* So i pretty much stayed home and slept until around eleven-thirty and then we had to take dax to class (silly boy) and I went with my mom while she picked out stuff for Scott and I’s wedding quilt. (the blue hand embroidered one) I was really exhausted, and slept in the car too.

I went to pick up some boxes from Animeboi’s store (he’s also known as Miroku for his lecherous tendencies) As I was leaving he touched my arm. My mom made a big deal about it (in a joking kind of manner) and asked if I was going to tell Scott. (Which I did by the way) I brushed it off. He had his chance at me (He did too) and passed it up. Now I’m off limits and he seems interested. 😛 Boys are stupid…. all of them except for Scott.

I played my practical joke on Scott tonight (I spent all day thinking about it) I told him my ring went down the drain… Yeah. So it wasn’t as ‘neat’ as his was, but dang it, I had only a little time to work with, and a very cynical person TO work with. So, yeah. He said I got him a little bit. (Only a little) but he hasn’t been gotten in a while, so it was okay. I pulled my ring back out (it was in the ring box) and put it on. It’s been causing a bit of grief, as it enjoys stabbing Scott and I to no end.

Scott’s best friend, (who I do believe NEEDS a nickname) and his best friend’s girlfriend came over tonight to hang out. It’s not like we talked (the four of us) really. it was cuddlesville on the couch (me and Scott) and makeout-town on the recliner.

I don’t know. I’m not into huge pda’s. I love kissing Scott, but right now, I’m not super comfortable with kissing him in front of peoples. *thinks* good grief, how to explain this? I’m a pretty private person. That’s why I talk quiet (and everyone has to ask twelve times what I say) and I’m pretty shy. I think i’ll be better after we’re married. *shrugs* i can’t really say. Also, I’m with Scott on the whole Don’t want to make out and ignore our friends type thing. (Not that my friends come around too often… but the concept) Besides, i like cuddling, I like it a lot. I remember when I was younger, i was always giving hugs. The specialist can recount that. I was always stuck about his waist giving him a hug. Of course that was undeniably lame for him, considering he was in High School, and trying to be the uber cool. I think that sorta broke me of my hugging tendencies. (Along with the years of TV conditioning “Boys don’t like clingy girls.”) Now it’s so nice to hug someone and just… hold on.

Anyway. I have so much to do, and so little time to do it in…. I better go read and soak and what not. 😀

Derringer Meryl [My Pocky Seduced you?] Out