Undone

It occurs to me– (in all reality I was talking to Scott about this last night) that neither of our siblings (for the most part on my side, Dax’ll be there) will be able to attend our wedding.

Now, his sibs are all young and tender, and not endowed. So we’re both okay with that. Most of my siblings are… (Cept Wudan and Sukie) and I’m not writing about this to rag on anyone for their own personal choices. They do what’s good to them. *shrugs*

I just really always imagined everyone being there. The whole gang, ya know? I’m not gonna wait, or put off my date or anything for them, because it was their choice to not be able to come. I try not to make a big deal about no one being able to come, because I don’t want anyone to feel like I hate them for not being able to come. It doesn’t make me happy, but … It’s not about me. *shrugs* I’m a big enough girl to understand that Johnny Golucky doesn’t think “I better not do that, Cause Meryl might get upset.” I know it’s not about me. I mostly kept quiet on the topic because I don’t see my sibs a lot. Sometimes only once a month, sometimes less. I don’t want to ruin my one weekend (or whatever) I see my siblings by upsetting them.

Cause above all, I just want them to be happy.

I have a point. it’s simple. I love my sibs. I love them if they can’t come, and i wouldn’t love them any more if they could. My day would have just been extra special then. 🙂

Anyway. I have to work on homework. I have a ton and a half of it to do. 😛 I just thought i’d speak out on the subject. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, with the wedding drawing closer and all.

Derringer Meryl [Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, it’s off to homework we go…] Out

Hello! Sorry about the lack of updates– i’ve been– school-ing. I’m actually at school right now, attempting to get what america calls “A quality education”

yeah

I believe that.

anyway. it’s just getting hecktic. Quite crazy in fact. Wedding plans and what not. They weigh on my mind a lot, and how i tend to lose my mind when Scott’s around, nothing much gets done… because I’m just thinking about how much I love him, and it can’t possibly be … fifty-something days left. (I don’t think it’s fifty seven…)

I’m just ready to be married. If I were endowed to go to the temple, eloping would appear more and more favorable. *nods* But– whatever, I can deal. 😉 I have faith in my ability to withstand.

and I have even more faith in the fact that God isn’t that cruel…

Meanwhile– I have a piano player who won’t return my phone calls (his cell is out of service and he hasn’t returned the message I left at his house.) One cake, for two receptions (I guess?) Bridesmaid dresses that I really should be more involved in, a ring to buy, homework piling up and my hair (I’m so kidding here) is falling out. (It just sounded like some kind of irony… doesn’t it?)

On the plus side, i haven’t bitten my nails in a long time. They’re getting stronger too. More ouchies though– I’ve been getting bruises in odd places. I’m beginning to think i beat myself up in my sleep.

I’m trying to be as useful as possible, but something tells me that there is something else I could do to be more productive. I have an essay to write. A quiz to study for (tomorrow night) and I’m starting to go insane. Okay, not starting, i’m already there and back again (honestly!)

My only source of humor (besides Scott, cause he’s pretty dang funny) is the fact that Leonard Nimoy really did sing a song called “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”

I could laugh for hours. or be horrified for hours. Either way. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [He fought with … a piano player] Out

I’ve been busy working on my psych paper, which i’ve chosen to be on the psychological effects of getting married on a bride.

If any of you married gals would like to give me insight …. ANY OF YOU! seriously, I need more than just my family! I know you’re reading this Scott’s friends. *leers* Email Me if you’re not comfortable leaving a comment. I’d just… I REALLY need your help here. I know that it’s sort notice (since it’s due tomorrow) but send this link to your friends who are married, and your friends send it to their friends. PLEASE?!?

I’d really really appreciate it. I could tell you a story or something if you’ll help me out… please?

I just need to write the paper, and i’m running into dead ends, I need to support it with psychological stuff– and i’m running more on stress.

Is stress psychological? My brain is frying. I have backed up homework that SO needs to be done.

PLEASE please pLeAZe Help me!!

Derringer Meryl [please?] Out

Hello faithful readers. Sorry I’ve been so grouchy lately. It’s my forte. I bit my own father’s head off last night at dinner for trying to tickle me. I’m in some sort of auto defense mode. Don’t ask me. I’m tending to freak out at anything that says to me: “This could lead to Scott unhappiness” and attempt to avoid it.

if it helps the reader to know, i’m in a new kind of exquisite pain, that I would not wish on anyone, No not even Hitler. Mostly I consider the pain to be recompense for being so mean. Which Is why I usually try to keep myself in control…..

Anyway.

Yesterday, i woke up pretty early, Like I said i would, and got a shower so i could style my hair. All my make up is sitting un-used in my drawer. I don’t need it to feel pretty or normal anymore. I can look in the mirror now (most times) and think how Scott loves me the way I am. Other times I recoil in horror wondering when I got that zit… anyway. Scott got here at Eight-thirty, and we watched MST3000. I’ve seen the show before, but still, it was funny…. though I admit, I wasn’t paying much attention to the film. Then Scott and I went on a search for the elusive wedding cake topper. (dun dun dun!) We looked at other things I had seen that i thought might be good for the wedding too. I have to have Scott’s input, because If I planned this all, it’d be quite an adventure. I realize just now that I forgot to take him to see the lamps my mom wanted to get. *sighs* Oh well. Maybe tonight? We found a guest book we both liked, fits our style just great, and talked about the cake knife. Scott doesn’t want it to be awfully gaudy, which I can understand, and I agree, but I want it to look pretty too… so it’s gonna be a while I think. I could, for all intents and purposes, just pick it out myself, but honestly… it wouldn’t be much of a wedding if Scott wasn’t there, so — yeah. He gets input too.

We discussed the garter event. He was leery about it… and asked a few questions, to which i scrunched my nose up and rather told him he would not be taking it off with his teeth. There is no way. Also, there will be two garters, One for me to keep (I’m picking out a rather expensive one… especially considering it’s a one time use garter) and a cheaper one to toss.

after looking at three different stores we hadn’t found a Cake Topper we both liked, but Scott suggested we looked online, so we did later on, and found this one.

What especially had frustrated Scott and I when we were out looking was the fact that only blonde grooms could marry blonde brides. It was rather frustrating. :-S This one we found has matching colors to us (Blonde Groom, Brunette Bride) and it’s just plain cute. *smiles*

Between all the cake topper goodness, we watched another movie… I’m not sure i”m allowed to tell you…. Hm… Oh well, Scott did it for me, because I love him, and he loves me. I got Scott to watch Harry Potter. Unfortunately it was in the middle of when I usually take my nap (apparently) and I fell asleep. At the end Scott said it was what he expected, it was okay. *shrugs* Still, He watched it, and it makes me happy to know he’s willing to do new things for me. *thinks of what she needs to do that’s new* Well, I did try D&D for Scott. So– yeah. 🙂 I guess it balances out.

We had our home teacher over and he gave us a message (as per usual) and Scott and Dax made little jokes through out it. I was the only one to hear them, but it was still funny. Then we watched a little of the apprentice (wahoo, it was the only non-gross thing on.) and King of Queens. Had some dinner, where I bit my dad’s head off (as per I formerly mentioned) and then we watched some of Record of Lodoss War: Chronicals of the Heroic Knight. It’s not bad, not like i expected (and was told) it would be. Once again, I wasn’t paying much attention to the film. I was just so happy Scott got to spend the whole day with me. I love that. I wish I had every wednesday free from School. *kicks school* stupid School!

So that was my day, edited for those who begged that I leave all the kissy stuff out. (NAH! :P)

Oh and… Happy 500th entry to me!!! I rock a whole bunch and stuff. 😀

Derringer Meryl [Happy giddy Girl] Out

I’m tired of letting you live it up at my expense, I’m exhausted from wedding planning, and only rejuvenated by seeing Scott.

He appreciates me.

On to my day summary 😀

I went to school. I didn’t really want to, I had even considered skipping, but I went and I got to watch Chocolat (the first half) and found out that we’re watching Dead Poets Society in Psychology on Thursday.

Then I got to go out to Lunch with Scott. I beat him finishing lunch (wahoo) though I felt like a stuffed pig. Then we went to look at furniture together. We like similar things, so it’s really easy picking things out together. We found a couch set that we liked. I need to show him the table my mom is going to let us have (heirloom) and show him what’s underneath the oddly colored tablecloth. After that, we had another tickle fight at home. I don’t think I lost, it was just pay to play. 🙂 Which was alright by me. After that I had class, and he had work, so we both had to skedaddle in opposite directions, it was a short visit, but it tided us both over until tomorrow, when we get to spend all day together (I have no school, and he has no work) so he’s coming up early so we can hang out.

I’m sure I”ll be up at six getting ready. I’m all sweaty from the heat today, so I’m gonna get all pretty for scott tomorrow. He says i”m always pretty, but I feel better when at least my hair is styled.

Cheese I’m so lucky to have Scott. 🙂

Anyway, If i go to sleep, then I get to wake up and Scott’ll be here! Wahoo!

Derringer Meryl [All You need is Love] Out