Undone

of course, the first half of the week just isn’t good unless it has a LYRIC SPEW!!!

Annie LennoxLove Song For A Vampire

Come into these arms again
And lay your body down
The rhythm of this trembling heart
Is beating like a drum

Don’t you love it? I do. Slightly happy. Even more sad. Romantic, yet bitter. Oh Yes. It is good. Very Very good.

Derringer Meryl [Love is anything but pure] Out

Blah.

People say, “Talking about it will make you feel better.” That’s a lie, because about five minutes after you’ve been talking, they just call you a freakin’ whiner. Can you see how i’m gettin mixed signals here? Besides. I’ve talked and talked and TALKED and i don’t feel ANY better about anything. I feel undone. Like i know how i feel, because i sit and HASH and RE-Hashed how i feel about things, and you’d know that if you’re a regular reader. I think about everything, very much. I’m insecure, i’m neurotic, and a little impulsive. When I feel angry about something, i don’t question that feeling, like i should, I just act on it. (shame on me, you’d think i’d have enough psychology NOT to.)

And I do talk about ME alot in this journal, but while you (the reader) may find bits and pieces of insight, this is mostly for me. Sure, i’m thrilled that people from all around the world read my whining for whatever reason (mostly looking for lyrics, actually) but it’s nice– to occasionally find out how people stumble in here. *points to counter* best thing ever! So you know, i don’t write this blog for you– you might find it insightful, or thought provoking to peak into the mind of a girl– but this is for me. 🙂 I’m just a selfish little bint, aren’t i?

I’ve been watching FMP, Full Metal Panic, which i find to be one of the best anime’s ever. It’s partially a mech anime… but unlike gundam (the most noted Mech Anime) it actually has a storyline that isn’t wound up in the mechs. Basically, it’s a romance, slightly awkward (Ala Love Hina) but i’m supposing they throw the mechs into the mix to keep the guys happy (girls watch for the romance, guys watch for the military mechs. 😉 overall, excellent. Funny, Fan Service (for the Otakus), and an intricate story line, allowing for the a-typical “Pervert” jokes (ala Love Hina) as well as the deep terrorism drama, makes for a very thrilling show. I’d recommend buying it all at once, waiting for all of the DVDS to be released one at a time can be frustrating, since most of the episodes have cliff-hanger endings. 🙂

Anyway, I have a story to write, (Fifty-eight reviews total!) I’m stoked, and hope to thrill my readers, and not disappoint.

Derringer Meryl [Do YOU love Asian DVDS?] Out

A brief moment of happiness,

and then

THAT MOUTH!!!

I’m sure most of you don’t have a clue what i’m talking about since you don’t know who “The Mouth” is. Well it’s the NEW assistant manager at work. and i honestly tried to be nice, and to get a long with him. But I’m sorry, he’s the rudest, and the most horrible person i know. And honestly, after a long line of really great Assistant managers, i’m about ready to move back to the mall. *sighs* I don’t care where i go, just as long as it’s away from him. He calls me whiney, and tells me to fuck off, and just… oi. He can’t tell a joke. I mean, I really really hate people who do jokes like they’re being serious and then get all fucking pissed off because “You can’t take a joke!” I mean, I can take a joke, with the best of them– hell, i laugh at myself just as often as anyone else… But if you can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, then how do i know how to react? *grumbles* I really gave this a go. Honest.

I don’t like him. HIm and his fetching mouth.

OOO and he turned off Dido. NO one turns off Dido. *AND* he just did it to piss me off.

On the bright side, i’m fairly sure i failed my math test today. 😐 I”m not joking. That happens to be the sum toll of my “bright side.” I’m tired. I’m pissed…. and i just want to make the bad man go away. *grumbles*

Derringer Meryl [like working with my brother] Out

Happy Beginnings! It’s a new week, and i’ve used this weekend to reflect on a few things. First, I don’t know anyone as well as i’d like to. Including myself. I find myself falling into the Julia Roberts (ala Runaway Bride) role. I like whatever someone else likes. I’m uber laid back. It’s not like a guy i like, loves fried eggs, and i say i like them too, and what not, just because he likes them. I furiously hate fried eggs. No one could make me eat them. I hate TV drama shows (Ala The Practice) and like more cult-ish shows. (Buffy, Xena, Angel, etc) I like Anime. I don’t like Porn– i’m fairly strong on that point. And I figure, in the long and short of it, how the hell do i really know anyone else if i spend all my time trying to figure out me.

Lets see– what else? I have another temp job tomorrow– and it’s going to be a fairly tight day. Test, and two jobs. One brain stew. i’m really nervous about the test, because, well– i hate math.

Do you ever find yourself agreeing with someone just to end the argument? I find myself doing that, WAY too much. Like– all the time. I swallow my ‘pride’ and just say “Yeah, you’re right, and i’m wrong.” just because i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m starting to get sick of being the submissive one.

I’m writing a story… which a few of you can’t read because you’re a) too judgmental or b)extremely rude. No offense to anyone outside of my circle of friends (that i know, i figure if you read this regularly, you’re as good as a friend) You’d have to suck up in a major manner to get the link, or you’d have to be really smart to get to it online. 🙂 I’m sorta having writers block with that. I wrote myself into the corner, but since i’m doing it first person narration, i figure if i switch characters, i have so much room to move it’s ridiculous. I’ve gotten more reviews with this story (all of them in a positive direction) than all of my other stories put together! It’s pretty awesome. I find it heartwarming… and it sure inspires me to write.

Lets see, yesterday was saturday, i should do a shopping recap: I got myself a pair of wings, and i got my sister-in-law’s Christmas gift, I bought a gift for Red too (as we went shopping together) It was a little Jade Buddha. She got me a gift (tis the season, or something.) it was a nifty little journal with “Fading Memories” inscribed on the front. The Pages look like they have been burnt a little, and a little purple bow ties it all up on the outside. It was a warm fuzzy for me. Cause I got one eighth of my family shopping done. Of course I still have Red, Monkey, Marco, Gert and J-Bob to buy for *smirks* You gotta cover your friends. 🙂 I’m sure i forgot one of my friends, and they’ll read that and be upset with me 🙂 But sue me, there are so many that i don’t regularly correspond with– so it’s hard to remember them all.

🙂 Anyway. I’m going to go brood, wanna join?

Derringer Meryl [Broody Bint] Out

another fan-FREAKING-tastic day. While the upside was working with Gert, and the excitement from Red Coming up from college, the downside was the fumes.

yes, the fumes. Shall I call them, the FUMES FROM HELL! Imagine that you’re working at a nail salon, you get one of those masks to keep yourself from inhaling all of those fumes, and what not, and you get paid damn good for charging the prices you do. Yes, it’s good to be a nail technician. Now, imagine, you’re getting paid jack, AND you aren’t working in a nail salon, but you STILL get the fumes. Isn’t that fun. OH, and minus the mask. So basically, you don’t the the chatty fun from being a nail technician, you don’t get the pay, you don’t get the nifty paper mask– YOU GET THE FREAKING FUMES… and that’s it. And as a bonus for all those wonderful things you gave up, you get to have headaches, bloody noses, respiratory problems, and skin irritation. Isn’t that fun!? I’m sure you’re thoroughly enjoying it. To add upon that, you have people telling you “You should really complain about the fumes! THey’re horrible.”

NO REALLY? I THOUGHT THEY WERE WONDERFUL

Yeah. The fumes from hell. I’m considering calling Osha, or possibly the Fire Department, or fetch, if i feel like this too much longer– the friggin’ hospital.

Let me leave you with what i, and my coworkers, have been suffering with.

Eyes

Eye contact with vapors and airborne dusts can cause irritation and redness, burning, itching, or discomfort. Your eyes may water and your vision may briefly become distorted. Once you stop being exposed, these effects usually go away fairly quickly. Chemicals which can cause these effects include acrylates (ethyl methacrylate, butyl methacrylate, isobutyl methacrylate, methacrylic acid, and ethyl cyanoacrylate), and many solvents, such as methyl ethyl ketone and acetone.

Nose, Throat, and Lungs

These same chemicals can also irritate your nose, throat, and lungs. Symptoms include irritation or soreness of the nose and throat, hoarseness, coughing, lung congestion, chest tightness, and shortness of breath. Cigarette smoking can worsen these symptoms. These effects are temporary and should disappear soon after exposure to an irritating vapor ends.

Chronic bronchitis can result from repeated exposure to irritant chemicals. Symptoms of this condition include lung congestion, cough with phlegm, difficulty in breathing, and greater susceptibility to respiratory infections.

Repeated exposure to certain chemicals found in some artificial nail products can cause allergic reactions in the respiratory tract. One type of allergy mainly affects the nose and throat, causing sneezing and other symptoms similar to hay fever. Another type of allergic reaction affects the lungs, causing asthma. Symptoms of asthma include difficulty breathing, wheezing, coughing, shortness of breath, and tightness in the chest. Once you have become sensitized to a chemical, very small amounts of that chemical can cause an allergic reaction.

Exposure to irritant chemicals that would not affect most people can provoke an asthma attack in a person who already has asthma.

Methyl methacrylate dust can cause asthma. All of the other acrylates (methacrylates and methacrylic acid) and ethyl cyanoacrylates can cause asthma.

Nervous System

Breathing in the vapors of certain chemicals can affect your brain the same way as drinking too much alcohol does. The technical term for this intoxication is central nervous system (CNS) depression. Overexposure to these vapors can cause headaches, nausea, and dizziness as well as making you feel irritable, confused, or drunk. These feelings should go away soon after you stop working with the chemicals.

Many of the chemicals which cause these effects are organic solvents. Some organic solvents often found in nail products are methyl ethyl ketone, acetone, toluene, xylene, and ethyl ether. Large amounts of vapors from the methacrylates can also cause the same problems.

Derringer Meryl [G’bye Brain] Out