Mar
17
2004
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cakeness

This is the song of the moment. I love this song. It’s slightly upbeat. I feel like it applies here– I’m not sure who between Red and I is the singer. Who is the object (the girl) maybe it’s a duet between us? I don’t know. I think we’re on the same page as far as this. I’m just really not sure of much right now. I’m really not sure of much. (except the previous entry) Let Me Go, Cake

When she walks
She swings her arms, instead of her hips
When she talks she moves her mouth, instead of her lips
I’ve waited for her for so long
I’ve waited for her for so long
I’ve wondered if I could hang on
I’ve wondered if I could hang on

“Let me go,” she said
“Let me go,” she said
Let me go and I will want you more
Let me go, let me go
Let me go and I will want you

When she wants
She wants the sun instead of the moon
When she sees
She sees the stars inside of her room
I’ve waited for her for so long
I’ve waited for her for so long
I’ve wondered if I could hang on
I’ve wondered if I could hang on

“Let me go,” she said
“Let me go,” she said
Let me go and I will want you more
“Let me go,” she said
Let me go
Let me go, and I will want you

“Let me go,” she said
“Let me go,” she said
“Let me go,” she said
Let me go, let me go

Derringer Meryl [Cake sounds good] Out

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Mar
13
2004
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Wonder If I Have It

Uber quick lyric spew…. Should be going out for D&D soon–and I just wanted to leave this as a thought. I was thinking of this song in the car with Scott the other day. 😉 I think he’ll understand…

Stick Shifts and Safety Belts, Cake

Stick shifts and safety belts

Bucket seats have all got to go

When I’m driving in my car

It makes my baby seem so far

I need you here with me

Not way over in a bucket seat

I need you to be here with me

not way over in a bucket seat

But when we driving in my Malibu

It’s easy to get right next to you

I say “Baby scoot over please”

And then she’s right there next to me

I need you here with me

Not way over in a bucket seat

I need you to be here with me

Not way over in a bucket seat

Well a lot of good cars are Japanese

But when we’re driving far

I need my baby, I need my baby next to me

Ah..well

Stick shifts and safety belts

Bucket seats have all got to go

When I’m driving in my car

It makes my baby seem so far

I need you here with me

Not way over in a bucket seat

I need you to be here with me

Not way over in a bucket seat

Derringer Meryl [I need you here with me] Out

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Mar
08
2004
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FlyMeToTheMoon

Still at school. Wondering what to do. I have nothing to do because Dax is in class, I’m thinking about going and buying a notebook (i have to buy something… cause i said so. Heh) to start my “planning a wedding” journal. Which my mom suggested and Scott agreed that it would be a good idea.

Like I said, I was reading that blasted magazine and it says to me “You are supposed to buy a present for the groom…” and I’m all, “WHAT? Cheeze and rice, I don’t know anything” (Which isn’t an unusual thought, especially with being in school and all.) I just sorta think about it alot.

i was in class today and I talked to my stress management teacher, who i say has to be one of the nicest people in the world. she can turn anything from a negative into a positive. Which I happen to find one of the most useful talents ever. :) I’m trying to implement it into my life, which she said is totally possible (see the positive ness?) I told her that I don’t feel like eating anymore (I just don’t. I feel like i’ve eaten a 24 course meal all the time) and she says “Are you in love?” and I blush, with a tiny Sakura face, and say “Yes, i am.” She grins and tells me that when you fall in love that you tend to lose weight because you stop eating. Also there’s a hormone emitted in your body that makes you feel full all the time. I told her that I had still felt full when I started to shake and my hands were unsteady. She said that i should eat sometimes even when i don’t feel like eating.

Now this may sound like common sense to everyone else, but I’m a firm believer in “If I’m not hungry, why should I eat?” so this thought sorta hit me, and I know that I should eat more than I do now. Heh.

I was in the car with Scott the other day, and we were listening to one of my CD’s (he was shocked (?right word?) that i liked eighties music too) and I put on this song. It was “Fly Me to the Moon – Asuka Bossa Techno” version of the ending to Evangelion. I love Evangelion. What can I say? Asuka’s version is SOOO fitting for us anyway. *looks around* I started humming it the other day while I was thinking of Scott, just randomly, thus I brought out the only CD I have it on. I think I lost the MP3 of it, so i’ve been scouring the net for it, but have yet to have found the exact same version. (I”m sure you’re thinking “Just rip it from your CD, duh!” and if i knew how, I would.) Anyway, it’s a great song. I’m gonna lyric spew it, and then scamper off to find me a new notebook. Just the right size. 😉

Fly me to the Moon, Various Artists

Fly me to the moon,

And let me play among the stars.

Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand!

In other words, darling, kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,

and let me sing forever more.

You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.

In other words, please be true!

In other words, I love you!

Derringer Meryl [Off I go] Out

Mar
03
2004
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Nearly Fourty-five Minutes left

I didn’t have time to blog last night, and this morning I woke up too late, so i’m guessing i can do it now, from school (or Skool) Say hello to beautiful Community College campus. Not huge, but i just walked half of the campus, and it’s a pretty nice day, i thought about walking all of it just for fun, so I could think about things, but I ended up deciding against it. I’m not wearing a watch, and could be seriously late to class.

I woke up this morning and decided to not eat. not necessarily in a manner of fasting, but a “I’m just too dang nervous to eat anything at all” type thing. Besides the fact that i can’t have milk for breakfast (lactose intolerant) and all we have to eat pretty much is breakfast cereal, I decided not to risk it.

Scott is going to meet Guts, Marco and Gert today. I’m sorta excited. Not sorta, I am excited. Scott means SO much to me, and my co-workers (I guess Gert is the only one who falls only into that catagory) are my friends. Scott said not to freak about it. But Guts calls me “Mistress Molesta Dawn” and I’m not even kidding. Scott thought it was funny. I have to agree, it’s my funniest name yet.

I feel like i’m bouncing around the topic i want to talk about– I’m afraid to talk about it. Sorta the “if you talk about your wishes they won’t come true” mentality i think. I don’t want to jinx it. I don’t want to build up all of these good feelings and just loose them because i’m too stupid to realize otherwise.

I forgot to talk to my parents about staying over at Mandarin’s house this weekend (full nickname Mandarin the Corruptor, she picked it, so there ya go) she’s one of Scott’s excellent friends (excellent is my word, all of his friends are his best friends. Which is a lot like me. All of my friends are my best friend) and she’s invited me to stay at her house after D&D this week. It’d be SO nice to do that, I just … hope I remember right that my parents said yes. *sighs* living with your parents who treat you like you’re still sixteen, is a drag. The uber drag. *makes notes to not be a drag when a parent of a teenager later in life*

I parked uber far away, Dax is gonna be so angry. Too bad! so sad! heh. we need the exercise, and plus, i didn’t want to stalk someone for their parking spot. (here I am dancing around the subject again)

I’m just making myself ill with worry. My mom keeps making plans and I say “Scott doesn’t have his answer, and I don’t want to assume yes.” *sighs* this is not the kind of thing you enter into lightly– but it feels so right. I’ve never been happier than when i’m with Scott…. and his friends all say that he’s happiest with me. what can I say besides Hearing that makes me giddy. (giddy is the word of the week i’m thinking) Nothing else has ever felt this right. I’m hoping God agrees. For two main reasons…. 1) I love Scott, and I want to be with him forever. 2) I don’t know the road back from here emotionally. If this weren’t to work out– I’m just not sure what i’d do. I’m not saying this is a “We’re going to do this or else I’ll kill myself” type thing. Heck no. It’s more of a “If this doesn’t work out, i’m not sure where i’d go from here.” type thing. I’d probably still quit Gamestop as I am planning to do. It’s become viciously apparent from going to the mall and my mom saying “Ohh look at these rings” while I shrugged her off…. (she’s been all for this since day one.) that the teeny pay check I pull in from GS won’t support any of my wedding aspirations. So I’m guessing I’m going to have to grow up, and throw Gamestop in the trash, like i’ve been assuming for a long time. :S But I remain there for the social aspect, that’s why i’m still there– why i put up with the stupid demands and the horribly low pay. (i’m the lowest paid worker at my store, I can almost guarantee) I might just go and be a waitress for a while. I’ll be one of the good ones too, the ones that don’t spit in your food. Heh. 😀

Anyway– I had better go. I have classes that I should TRY to focus on, but I’m telling you– my brains won’t be there. I’ll be thinking of Scott… and praying, the entire time.

Dn Angel: A Graceful Evening

even peaceful time and the sorrows of a small heart

appeared to be shining very beautifully

the wind blows against the silent you

that’s just so pleasant I sing a little song

when you stare at me, I can’t really breathe

hey… please don’t laugh

peaceful time passes away silently

I didn’t notice it but spring has come

soon everything will reach the sky

just swaying swaying swaying and floating there

you can stand in the wind, flowing far away in the stream

lets quietly disappear so that no one can interfere

quietly…

peaceful time passes away silently

I didn’t notice it but spring has come

even the tiny world in our tiny hands

are glittering, shining as if we’re inside a dream

as if we’re inside a dream

as if we’re inside a dream

Derringer Meryl [Jpop Queen] Out

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Feb
28
2004
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Forever is a very long time. Lets make it forever and a day.

I didn’t like my last Lyric Spew. Psh. It was stupid. *tosses it out the window* I like this one better. I’m going to do something different this time. The Stuff in italics is my response, as if someone had just said that line to me… *smiles* I won’t do it on all the lines. heh. I was reading through Scott’s Journal and he mentioned this song, so i thought i’d spew it. Just for fun.

First Date, Blink182

In the car I just can’t wait,

to pick you up on our very first date

Is it cool if I hold your hand? Yeah, it is. Go For it. :)

Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance? No, not really, do you think it’s lame TO dance?

Do you like my stupid hair? I love your stupid hair

Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear? Never. You look really well put together

I’m too scared of what you think Me too!

You make me nervous so I really can’t eat That’s Scary

Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over

Honest, let’s make this night last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

When you smile, I melt inside I’m a puddle at your feet

I’m not worthy for a minute of your time I’m thinking the same about you, trust me

I really wish it was only me and you Lets ditch em! Just kidding!

I’m jealous of everybody in the room They know you so well!

Please don’t look at me with those eyes What? These?

Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies I’m not to you.

I dread the thought of our very first kiss A sort of anxious anticipation. I’ve been worrying too

A target that I’m probably gonna miss Don’t worry, things’ll work out. :)

Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over

Honest, let’s make this night last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over

Honest, let’s make, this night last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Forever and ever, let’s make this last forever

Derringer Meryl [Gank!] Out

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