Nov
21
2003
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Death To Good Things

Broken things.

I’m broken, and therefore, enjoy breaking things too. *sighs* And apparently have encouraged other things to break. I’m not right

I’m not good. I’m not anything of worth. And NO, i’m not baiting for everyone to tell me i”m all peaches and fuzz. Because I”m not. I’m not a pretty thing. I’m broken, and wrong. There is not a good clean thing about me but my faith, that I more than likely don’t deserve to have. I hurt people. I hurt things. I break them until they can’t be broken anymore– and people over look it, because they can’t see. Can’t see how much i’ve made things wrong.

And I can’t see it all either, I just know i did it. I helped it. I broke it. I put the crack in the dish that led to it’s shattering. I may not have done all of it, but I certainly allowed for a wedge to take place.

I’ve forgotten all the good things, and I’ve become selfish– and whore-like. I’m broken, I’m burnt, and I’m dying from shame, and I apparently want everyone to die with me.

Every good thing i touch becomes tainted and dirty. All happy things frown, and living things wither under my gaze.

I cannot be happy, for I am the essence of sad and death.

Torn, Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm he came around like he was dignified

He showed me what t was to cry

Well you couldn’t be that man I adored

You don’t seem to know – or seem to care what your heart s for

I don’t know him anymore

There’s nothing where he used to lie

My conversation has run dry

That’s what’s goin’ on

Nothing’s fine

I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel

I’m cold and I am shamed

Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed

Into something real

I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You’re a little late

I’m already torn

So I guess the fortune teller’s right

I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light

But you `crawled beneath my veins and now I don’t care, I have

No luck

I don’t miss it all that much

There’s just so many things

That I can’t touch

I’m torn

There’s nothing where he used to lie

My inspiration has run dry

That’s what’s goin’ on

Nothing’s right I’m torn…

Derringer Meryl [No Going Back] Out

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