Sep
11
2010
1

I wanna live Like music

With my thoughts of a 30 day optimism challenge, my job decided, “Why don’t I make things interesting” and I have never been this busy at a job, EVER. I seriously mean it. I have had back to back calls, yes. Undoubtedly. I’ve experienced that almost my whole call center career (haha, career) but when it’s slow, I’m busier than when I have calls. Following up on forms, closing out cases, calling people back, etc etc. It’s BUSY. I am open to close jam packed busy. (for that matter, i don’t think I even had time for an afternoon break) In any case, Busy busy busy. THEN i had some lady rip me a new one, and after 6 years in the biz, you’d think I’d be fine with that. I’ve had single moms tell me their sob stories about how I was stealing food out of their kid’s mouths, I’ve had old people tell me that I was robbing them. There are stories from my jobs that STILL haunt me, and have made me bitter against our government and the way they treat our Veterans, etc. I should probably let go….

In any case, she ripped me a new one, and for the first time in a long time (since 2007) my job made me cry.Don’t get me wrong. I have cried at work, A LOT. I was pregnant at work, and cried A LOT, so there you go. But crying nonsensically about work issues, haven’t done that in a while. It wasn’t that she got to me, it was that she made me feel like I was bad at my job. And damnit, I’m pretty fabulous for being there only 4 weeks or so. She can eat it, because it turned out to be HER fault not ours.

Anyway, I have been continuously debating whether I should go back to therapy. I say to myself “Was it helping?” and the answer was “Yes” but then i ask “was it creating more problems?” and the answer is also yes. So it leaves me in a dilemma. Should I seek help again somewhere else? Should I just stop all together? Should I just go back to the same therapist. Messy. Annoying. STRESSFUL.

I like to think that I’m a person who has their head on straight, and is thinking clearly, but the truth is, not always. I try to fact check as much as possible. I like to talk to other people to make sure I’m not… fabricating things.

I know I tend to err on the side of the dramatic. I’m not trying to make a fuss, drama is me. It’s how I feel. it’s in my heart, in my head. It makes me broken.

Derringer Meryl {uh oh, it’s getting late} out

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Jul
09
2003
--

Does the thought of unending pleasure interest you?

Double your pleasure, double the fun, double the lyric spew! I know you’re anxious to get to the lyrics, but whoa there little guy, just wait for a minute! I thought I could type a little entry before I got to the lyric spew, so I could double the pleasure and the fun!

So, it’s been interesting around here. A little infiltration and always Drama, Drama, Drama I could expound, but the writings could be discovered, and thus– I would have to take my arsenic pills, and everyone would disavow any knowledge of this undercover mission and– well that would be a rather depressing end to my little mind novellette, wouldn’t it?

I thought so. Anyway, First we’re going to have a lyric Spew from The Cardigans, Love Fool

Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn’t bother
that I ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can’t care ’bout anything but you…

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could do have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don’t care if you really care
as long as you don’t go

Now for a lyric spew from Cold, Stupid Girl

Wanna love ya
Wanna bug ya
Wanna squeeze ya
Stupid girl

Wanna touch ya,
Wanna take ya,
Wanna shut ya,
Stupid girl.

I can’t take this,
Born to break this.

She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

I’m a loner,
I’m a loser,
I’m a winner,
In my mind.

I’m a bad one,
I’m a good one,
I’m a sick one,
With a smile.

I can’t take this,
Born to break this.

She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

Stupid girl, Stupid girl

(whoa)

She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
She’s going away,
(She’s going away)
What’s wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

[repeat chorus til end]

OKay So I’ve been a good girl, Posted some lyric-y fun, and now– I’m going to scamper off to my happy little world, where I”m a double agent, and the very foxy Pierce Brosnen is torturing me until– Um… Never mind.

Derringer Meryl [Bad Llama] Out

Written by admin in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

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