Undone

Isn’t it interesting how everything gets all kinds of mushy at Christmas time?

The Specialist is feeling it. My dad isn’t feeling the mush, and I think he’s missing it. I don’t get mushy over him anymore. *shrugs* I’d be sad if he died…. I do admit that. I’d miss things about him– but sometimes his drama-y ways out weigh the goodness that i know lies inside.

Tonight, i went to see Elf again. Everyone at work was going… and for the lack of a better excuse, i went too. 🙂 I love it when they include me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzily. Heh. I’m a dork. Anyway, Dad was a little upset that I didn’t ask permission to go. Since i’m eighteen, i didn’t realize that i needed permission, considering it’s my money i’m spending and Artemis’ gas money too. (as in she was outside wasting gas as she waited for me. :S) I guess that’s one of my rebellious things. That I don’t feel like I should ask to go. I don’t mind asking, but i don’t think it should be demanded of me that I should ask.

What i’m most sorry about is that Dax got ripped a new one because i didn’t understand that Dad wanted to talk to me on the phone. Sheesh. 🙁 Sorry Dax. I didn’t know that it was earth shaking that i was going out. I’ve been out before like this. With the same people…. Not like Dad keeps tabs on where I am anyway. Psh. Usually he doesn’t realize that i’m gone …. for a while. Like until Dinner, or Prayers. I have to admit, i’m a little miffed about that. I don’t expect him to have my schedule memorized…. honestly, I barely do– but it’s nice to be missed, and God, if your family doesn’t miss you, who will? (Do i always say that or what??)

I’m a whiner, I need some cheeze to go with my whine, I know.

But tonight… is not the time to be deep and introspective. I’m just …. tired. and I need to… eat something…. So, Yeah.

Derringer Meryl [You Sit on a Throne of Lies] Out